What's new
Frozen In Carbonite

Welcome to FIC! Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

A Penguin Plays RULE THE WAVES

48.3 WAR vs Austria-Hungary! - May 1904

bluepencil

Indentured Artist
Author

This too, is according to the scenario.
We have expected this sort of thing, it's well within operational tolerances.


The rest of the Delfin-class are fine though.


Yeah, ok.
Do we share a land border from Albania with Austria-Hungary though?


Are we going to have to invade Montenegro?

I just... I just wanna set the Balkans on fire~♪


Very good.
Increase baguette consumption per capita.


Ah!
So the thing we just walloped was a CL Szigetvar-class, not THE Szigetvar.


Crapbaskets.
But we know their CA Sankt Georg class are no match for our Adobo class, so the Andale might have to turn back.

(CA Andale) I'm past Singapore already!
(CA Andale) Why do you waste my time like thiiis?



*deep breath*
 

Alias

Bean Daddy
Moderator
What does MS stand for?
 
49.1 WAR! - Coastal Raid off Austria-Hungary 1904

bluepencil

Indentured Artist
Author

All right. So how are we doing this then?

Are they raiding us? Are we raiding them?


(CA Adobo) It's night time.

It's night time.

(DD Dorado 2) Where even are we?


All right, duckies.
While you would be more useful scouting, I can't be arsed to keep moving you around.

Follow the Battleships around to spot for them instead. Destructor sank because we weren't paying attention.

(DD Destructor 2) That's a Light Cruiser's job, isn't it?

Well, we don't have any that of there anyw-


LADRON! WHAT ARE YOU STILL DOING HERE?
You were hiding behind Adobo!

(CL Ladron) You just set me on Foreign Station and didn't tell me to go anywhere!


Those look like our coastlines.
So they're raiding us.

(CL Ladron) The Mediterranean IS Foreign Waters. Albania IS a Colonial Possession.

Oh.





(CL Ladron) The night is dark and full of terrors!

Fine. Go ahead and rejoin the formation.

Adobo, what have you got?




(CA Adobo) I can't see a dang thing!


We are going to fail this mission so hard.

They could be ANYWHERE. They could be hugging the coast and running dark.
They could be in that channel below us or in the middle of the Adriatic or that coastline up there.

(B Baraco) Are you going to split the Party?

That's not even a thing we can do because you'll revert back to AI control when you lose sight of the flagship.
 
Last edited:
49.2 WAR! - Coastal Raid off Austria-Hungary 1904

bluepencil

Indentured Artist
Author

(CL Ladron) I'm already lost.

DAMMIT LADRON!


Fine, just pick a random direction.

Go straight north.



Wot?


Is that one of ours?

It's probably one of ours. It couldn't possibly be that convenient that as soon as we deviated away from our starting heading we would find the enemy.


(CA Donau) AAAAAAA.
 
Last edited:
49.3 WAR! - Coastal Raid off Austria-Hungary 1904

bluepencil

Indentured Artist
Author

All right, first things first - Adobo, get back to work.


Barbarella, you too. You're the one here that should be technically immune to all return fire.


Take the lead.

(B Barbarella) Contact with main enemy fleet?


(CA Adobo) Maaaybe?

Am I seeing this right?

It's daaaaaytime.
And the seas are calm.

Did they bring everything?


Oh crap they brought everything.

Patatas! They WERE hugging the coast!
If we had kept our heading from when we started, we wouldn't ever have seen them.


What's funny about this is that as soon as we sighted each other, their Battleships immediately turned around.

I fear your magic six-inch secondaries more than I do your main guns!


Let's turn 45 degrees so we can present our broadsides too.
All ships- engage!
 
Last edited:
49.4 WAR! - Coastal Raid off Austria-Hungary 1904

bluepencil

Indentured Artist
Author

ADOBO HOW?

HOW ARE YOU DAMAGED THIS QUICKLY ALREADY?!


Wait, hang on. I don't see any hits here.


Did you... did you jam your guns and accidentally punch yourself in the face so hard it buckled your hull?

(CA Adobo) ... no. You can't prove anything.


Adobo!

(CA Adobo) I'm FINE.
(CA Adobo) Keep your head in the game, Admiral!



All right.
(The most reasonable explanation is the repairs actually haven't finished yet)


So that's... 14 ships. Versus our 8.

BatDiv1: 2 ships​
- B Barbarella​
- B Baraco​
DesDiv 2: 3 ships​
- DD Dorado 2​
- DD Dorado 3​
- DD Destructor 2​
CruDiv 3: 1 ship​
- CA Adobo​
BatDiv 4: 1 ship​
- B Barquillo​
CruDiv 7: 1 ship​
- CL Ladron​
But if you think about it, it's mainly just three Battleships and an Armored Cruiser. Four actual battleworthy ships.


Ladron can't even be set out of AI control.
And is as expected, useless.

(CL Ladron) I'm helping!

By staying out of the way, good for you.
Very good.


(CA Adobo) The enemy have all turned around.

Two ships. We are basically attacking them with just TWO SHIPS RIGHT NOW.

(CA Adobo) To be fair, nothing they have can stand up to Barbarella.

Destroyer torpedo run!

(CA Adobo) That's hypocritical.

(CL Ladron) Oh hey guys, I found that Trader you were talking about.
 
Last edited:
49.5 WAR! - Coastal Raid off Austria-Hungary 1904

bluepencil

Indentured Artist
Author

The Battleships seem to have recovered their nerve.



(CA Adobo) They're turning around in a circle like a school of fish.

Must have made a count of how many ships we actually have.

(CA Adobo) Do we care?

Heck no.


Oh and now you have tooth decay too?!

(CA Adobo) ...

(B Barquillo) Moving on up.


Wait, seriously? Adobo's the formation leader here?


(CA Adobo) *dodge*


(CA Adobo) *miss*


(CA Adobo) *forward turret back in action*
(CA Adobo) OH YEAH I'M BACK IN THE GAME, BABY

Yeaah, they're definitely just running away now.


Ahyup.



Our ships are slow, this is a problem.
 
49.6 WAR! - Coastal Raid off Austria-Hungary

bluepencil

Indentured Artist
Author

(CL Ladron) Hey guys, look!


(CL Ladron) I'm not lying. I'm actually being useful!

Yes. Yes you are, Ladron. Good for you.
Now just stay back there behind the formation.

Good. Very good.


We're actually overtaking these guys.
This is good.


This is bad.


(B Barbarella) I can't... keep this top speed... anymore...
(B Barbarella) My engine crew are exhausted.

I see, so that's the benefit of oil-fired boilers.
Oil isn't actually that much cheaper or lighter than coal, but it can run constantly with little human intervention.


All right, Adobo, turn back before you're caught between the Austria-Hungarian fleet and the shore-based guns.


Ugh, what's this -60 Tech Level penalty? This makes no sense!

(CA Adobo) My guns are eight-inchers.

So?

(CA Adobo) Guns smaller than nine inches as main guns get a rate of fire penalty without reliable training and elevation gear.

That makes even less sense.
They're made of less metal, so they should be easier to move and aim.


(CA Adobo) *PWONNG!*

Dammit, Adobo! You're hit again?
Are you the punching bag now?

Is this your meme life now?!



(CA Adobo) Shut up I AM FINE.


(CA Adobo) *wha-pow!*

(B Habsburg) *wha-bonk!*

(CA Adobo) I AM MORE THAN FINE.

I guess you are.
 
Last edited:
49.7 WAR! - Coastal Raid off Austria-Hungary

bluepencil

Indentured Artist
Author

Hm. While I know that you can bounce their main guns, 8" guns aren't going to do anything in return.



Break off and let the Battleships take the battle line.

(CA Adobo) Boo! I can handle it.


I know you can. Don't worry, we all have our parts to play.
Our battleships know what they're doing. Swing down from behind and see if you can pick off the straggling destroyers.

Take Barquillo with you.



(B Barbarella) I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING.

How are you damaged already?!


(CA Adobo) On that note... how am I not damaged?
(CA Adobo) Looks like jammed guns read similar to battle damage to you.

Fair enough. I should stop panicking about damage reports that don't display flotation damage.

(CA Adobo) Ah, a Donau.
(CA Adobo) We meet again.

(CA Donau-class) Gleep!


Oh boy. Nine-inch shore batteries.

No, the six inch guns are still more dangerous.
 
49.8 WAR! - Coastal Raid off Austria-Hungary

bluepencil

Indentured Artist
Author

All right so that's our gun range.


And that's our sight range.

As long as we stay out of gun range we can bombard with our twelve-inchers with impunity.



Meanwhile, Adobo is swooping down on the Donau.
Baraco's larger guns don't seem to have any appreciable range advantage.


What's this small civilian ship still doing here? Get out of here!

(CL Ladron) I saw it first!


(CA Adobo) These grates are gnarly!

Haha like brush your teeth, am I right?


Ooh kaay they're entering port now.

All right. I guess we'll just see about beating up this Donau instead.


(CA Adobo) Nyoh.


Are... are your turrets literally jammed?

(CA Adobo) Mffadela duh frrhca.

[BREAD IN MOUTH INTENSIFIES]
 
49.9 WAR! - Coastal Raid off Austria-Hungary

bluepencil

Indentured Artist
Author

Ooh. Heavy gun hit.
Belt Extended armor is thin. What, three inches, I think?

(B Barbarella) BE armor also leads to nowhere important.


(CA Adobo) Nyam nyam nyam gaaah! I H̶̷̶̶̷A̶̷̶̶̷V̶̷̶̶̷E̶̷̶̶̷ ̶̷̶̶̷F̶̷̶̶̷I̶̷̶̶̷N̶̷̶̶̷I̶̷̶̶̷S̶̷̶̶̷H̶̷̶̶̷E̶̷̶̶̷D̶̷̶̶̷ ̶̷̶̶̷E̶̷̶̶̷A̶̷̶̶̷T̶̷̶̶̷I̶̷̶̶̷N̶̷̶̶̷G̶̷̶̶̷ ̶̷̶̶̷L̶̷̶̶̷U̶̷̶̶̷N̶̷̶̶̷C̶̷̶̶̷H̶̷̶̶̷ AM BACK IN ACTION!


Adobo.

(CA Adobo) What the hey, gunners! Keep your eyes on the prize!


(CA Adobo) Wait. They're telling me that the secondary guns outside of the firing arc for the Donau are getting bored.
(CA Adobo) Port guns want to do something too.


You just tried to hit a small trader with your main guns.

(CA Adobo) Okay I have no idea what I'm doing.


(CA Adobo) MULTITASKING!


... Let's go check with our battleships for a moment.

Looks like the Austria-Hungary Fleet decided not to retreat and have chosen instead to straddle the coast, exchanging gunfire under the shadow of their nine-inch shore batteries.



Adobo.

(CA Adobo) I'm TRYING to get to the Donau, dang it!
(CA Adobo) My six-inch guns are just hitting targets of opportunity!


(CA Adobo) Oh my glass jaw.


(CA Adobo) Muh doze!

ADOBO!


(CL Ladron) Is this karma?
 
49.10 WAR! - Coastal Raid off Austria-Hungary

bluepencil

Indentured Artist
Author

Shut up, Ladron.

Whew. Good. Looks like there's no real damage yet.


(CA Adobo) I TOLD YOU I was aiming for the Donau all along.



Meanwhile, these escort ships are circling around outside of gun range.
That's about as good as we should expect.

Just stay out of the battle line, thin-hulled ships.
Those six-inch guns be magic, yo.



(DD Destructor 2) We can be useful too!

(CA Adobo) Go ahead and do it, this is the least we can do to soothe our guilt.


(CA Adobo) I guess I'll just take the rest out of it from this Donau.


Yowch! Those are nine-inch main gun hits.


And those were your forward cannons, Baraco!

No flotation damage yet though.
Maybe the turret could still be brought back into action?


All right, battleship group - head south for a while.
See if they will follow us.


And bring everyone to see if we can sink this Donau in the meantime.

(CA Adobo) There's no escape for you!


(CA Adobo) (head knocked back)
(CA Adobo) MORIONES!
 
Last edited:

Iron Sight

New member
Ouch, talk about being isolated. That is as cornered as one could get. The coast to your back and sides, a literal fleet to your front.
 
49.11 WAR! - Coastal Raid off Austria-Hungar

bluepencil

Indentured Artist
Author
So this IS your meme life now.


(CA Adobo) SHUT UPP!

(CA Adobo) *Bwom!*
(CA Adobo) *Bwom!*


Whoa.


(CA Adobo) *Phunk!*
(CA Adobo) *Phunk!*

(CA Adobo) (grits teeth)
(CA Adobo) I YAM WHAT I YAM


(CA Adobo) AND ALL DATS I YAM


... the rest of the Austria-Hungarian fleet ARE following us out of port.

What are these idiots doing?


(CA Adobo) IS POPEYE!

What are OUR idiots doing?


(CA Adobo) hrrgh


(CA Adobo) *whaboom*


(B Barquillo) Oh shite, hang in there, Adobo!

(CA Adobo) *whapow*


(CA Adobo) (spits)
(CA Adobo) DA SAILOR MAAAN!


(CA Adobo) *blagam!* *blagam!*



(CA Adobo) TOOT. TOOT.

Holy crap, Adobo.
 
49.12 WAR! - Coastal Raid off Austria-Hungary

bluepencil

Indentured Artist
Author

(CA Adobo) SOMETIMES YOU NEED TO TAKE A HIT

Oh lordy, this really IS your meme life.


(B Barquillo) Adobo, stop!
(B Barquillo) Just stay behind me, I have thicker armor!


(CA Donau-class) AAAAAAAAAAA
(CA Donau-class) (sprays gunfire wildly)

(B Barquillo) I am surrounded by crazy ships.



(CA Adobo) *boom!* *boom!*
(CA Adobo) TO GIVE A HIT!

(CA Adobo) LOOK AT YOU! YOU BUNCH OF BATTLESHIPS!
(CA Adobo) AND YOU CAN'T EVEN HIT ANYTHING WORTH SHITE!

(B Barbarella) You have just finished describing how a Battleship is supposed to work.


(CA Adobo) LET ME SHOW YOU HOW IT'S DONE!

(B Baraco) Oh noo.


(CA Adobo) TAKE A HIT-!

(B Barbarella) Adobo has gone bye-bye. Baraco, what have you got?
(B Barbarella) We're going to have to wrestle her down.

(B Baraco) Relax, she's facing six-inch guns. Her belt and citadel armor's enough to bounce eight-inch shellfire.
(B Baraco) How dangerous could it be?


(CA Adobo) AND ANOTHER HI- *kabooom!*

ADOBO!

(B Baraco) ... !
(B Barbarella) You just had to jinx it.
 

bluepencil

Indentured Artist
Author
Seriously, Donau has some scarily good accuracy here. And that is despite losing one turret already.
There's a reason I call Austria-Hungarian six-inchers FUCKING MAGIC.
 
49.13 WAR! - Coastal Raid off Austria-Hungary

bluepencil

Indentured Artist
Author

(CA Adobo) *thunk*
(CA Adobo) I AM IMMORTAL.

(B Barquillo) What.


(CA Adobo) *ping*
(CA Adobo) I HAVE IN ME THE BLOOD OF KINGS!

(B Barquillo) Adobo, slow down! Your UNDERWATER TORPEDO TUBE was hit!
(B Barquillo) Your bulkheads are gonna flood!


(CA Adobo) BOORN TO BE FREEE!

(B Barquillo) Adobooo...!


(CA Adobo) *pow!*
(CA Adobo) PRINCESS OF THE UNIVERSE!



(B Barbarella) Yes, how IS she doing that?
(B Barbarella) She's still going full speed.

(B Baraco) It's magic how a six-inch shell just manages to get past belt armor and explode a torpedo inside her own hull underwater.
(B Baraco) And it's just as magic how she's somehow completely unscathed by it.


(CA Adobo) *shrak*
(CA Adobo) FIGHTING AND FREE!

(B Baquillo) Uh, she's strong to the finich?


(CA Adobo) *skirt rip*
(CA Adobo) GOT YOUR WORLD IN MY HANDS

(B Baquillo) Cos she eats her spinich?


(CA Adobo) *phunk* *bwoosh*
(CA Adobo) HERE FOR YOUR LOVE AND HERE I'LL MAKE MY STAND

(CA Donau-class) AAAAAAAAAAA


(B Barbarella) It's terrifying how more and more that sounds plausible.


(CA Adobo) HERE I AM




(CA Adobo) TOOT. TOOT.

...

...
 
Last edited:

Top