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A Penguin Plays RULE THE WAVES

I ran a game and was basically beating the shit out of the CSA in anything less than battleship, then ran out of dropbox space. I looked at the folder and wondered "wait, why are these screencaps almost half a gigabyte?" and realized I was taking full screen PNG captures at 1440p. 😓

Had to delete everything and start over.
 
RESTART!
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... Really? You're doing this again?

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Yes.

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Why though?

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Because CLEARLY I HAVE NOT HAD ENOUGH SUFFERING!

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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

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SOLOMON! I HAVE RETURNED!


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You mean SARDINIA.


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Om. Nom. Nom.
 
Spain 001.1 - Construction Phase
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Once more the Admiral will try to last.

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Your greed is your downfall.

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Again! We go with God and Spain!


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But we're going to do something different here.

Instead of quantity and compromising on features to get any battleships out quicker, we will focus on quality.


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Adobo! Since you're crazy, I am upping your and your sister ship's armor instead of just measly five inches.
Charge into them without fear!

>> CA ADOBO> IMMA RIP THEIR LUNGS OUT!

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Furiosa! Instead of the cheapest and lightest possible Light Cruiser as a fast raider, you're now a more proper Destroyer-killer with still the same speed that can handle intercepting ships while you're Raiding.

>> CA FURIOSA> WITNESS ME!

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And in between them, Lechon-class is a dedicated Light Cruiser killer.
Ladron, you are promoted to Lechon.

>> CL LADRON LECHON> I'm so happy!
>> CL LECHON > I'm not even being sarcastic right now!


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And some oversized Mine Sweepers as colonial gunboats for Foreign Service duty so I won't end up leaving valuable Cruiser hulls behind.


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What changes is that, at least for the first year, we will be building NO BATTLESHIPS.

ADOBO will be the heaviest ship we have. You girls are expensive.

But Pre-Dreadnought Battleships go obsolete so quickly, and it is unlikely for war to break out the first year. We can do better.


>> CA LECHON> You're leaving the smallbotes behind. Barquillo-class... so sad.

>> CA FURIOSA> You're still saying that with such a happy voice.

>> CA LECHON> This is my only tone of voice!


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They built a Dwarf Fortress and locked the gates.
 
001.2 Spain - January 1900
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First let's put these ships to work on Foreign Service.

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Then we focus our budget on research.
Emphasis on naval guns and damage control and armor piercing ability so we can get as much use of our massed eight-inchers for a soon and as long as possible.


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Gunnery and Torpedo focus because when it's night time is time to give up and go home.
We will use the cover of night to flee instead of looking for enemies and accidentally stumble into torpedo range.


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As 1900 rolls out, here we stand.
The only so-called Great Power with no Battleships, no Light Cruisers, and zero Destroyers.

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Our Armored Cruisers are better than everyone else's though.
 
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001.3 Spain - January 1900
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Wait, no I was wrong. Ten inchers on an Armored Cruiser is devastating.

This is more like a pocket battleship. What are you doing, Bell Cranel?

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The Italian Marco Polo Armored Cruiser line is a sensible well balanced one like Adobo used to be in the previous run.

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Well... 'balanced' is not something I could say about Adobo, but you know what I mean.

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The French version is just outright better than the British Argonaut-class.
Less main battery, but its speed and increased protection makes it much more capable of anti-Cruiser work. At least 21 knots is what you need to deal with Light Cruiser Raiders.

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Functionally identical to the Marco Polo class but with less speed and armor.
I wonder where they put the weight savings instead?

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And of course, ours.
The brickest brick that ever bricked on the open seas.

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The Austrians only have one Armored Cruiser, the poor souls.
Light, fast, cheap, and effective.

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We would just stomp it flat in short order in a real war.



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That being said, let's progress.
 
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002.1 Spain - June, July 1900
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Not much happened in the first half of the year, so let's just skip them.

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Though funnily enough, the people in Austria-Hungary notice their lack of Armored Cruisers.
I wonder why our own people don't care about our lack of Battleships?

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Oh. Right. Spain's favorite hobby of Civil War.

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Gasp.
I wonder who could have been so rude as to taunt them with how even lacking Battleships at least Spain isn't Austria-Hungary and our pair of Adobo-class beatsticks could roam up and down the Adriatic with impunity?

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What they going to do?
Ask Italy for help?

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That only increases tensions by an ignorable bit.

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Ooh. July Decision time!

Yes, we're going all in with that.
It's probably Mexico vs the CSA.

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That increased our budget a little bit.

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So let's lay down some cheap local gunboats for Coastal Patrol duty.

I'm using Mine Sweepers instead of Destroyers because a 1,100 ton hull is the minimum to carry a pair of 5-inch guns without penalty. Which would be savage against Destroyers and slow AMC trying to raid.
 
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Functionally identical to the Marco Polo class but with less speed and armor.
I wonder where they put the weight savings instead?
Likely travel range. The USN always had a travel range fetish after the Civil War, to the point that USN ships tended to be only outdone by the Royal Navy. Yeah, the little things you discover in digging through history on various vehicle type evolution...
 
003.1 Spain - August, September, October 1900
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And nothing interesting going on during August either.
We're doing fine.

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YOU ASSHOLES.

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*groans*

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It's 1900 you idiots!
People are laying down hulls all over the place without pause!


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We still have ZERO Battleship, ZERO Light Cruisers, and ZERO torpedo-carrying Destroyers!

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What goes on with this stupid plague of pacifisi-...

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...

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Well played, Austria-Hungary. Well played.
 
004.1 Spain - November, December 1900
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[ S A B E R R A T T L I N G I N T E N S I F I E S ]
You might as well call me Emiya Shirou, I'm not letting go of this!

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The reason I have not built any Destroyers is because we need them to be at least 600 tons so none of our sailors suffer the morale penalty of Cramped Accomodations abroad.

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Go make trouble for the Austrians, Italy.

It's surprising actually how our Intel isn't so much of a potato this time around.


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At least our November budget is holding on.

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Give it to me.

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December financial and strategic report is pretty much the same as November, so let's all just get drunk and feast well over Christmas and greet the New Year.
 
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004.1 Spain - January, February 1901
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Awesome! And now you know what you should do?

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Go back and DO IT AGAIN.


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What?

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WHY?

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Our relations with Italy go for the worse and suddenly we get a spate of useful research.
Gee I wonder what could have happened.

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That's a pretty significant jump in tensions.

Austria's playing some real realpolitik.


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(unexplained delays)

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I don't know what I expected from our yards, to be honest.

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Although despite our income being negative suddenly we're over a million in loose funds again?
We picked up 200,000 out of nowhere.

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Bwuh?

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Is this... is this my cut?
 
I don't know what it is about RTW, it's just so dry and looks so Visual Basic, but as soon as a penguin gets involved even random errors start being interesting to me. It starts to stink like corruption in here... which just adds even more to the historical verisimilitude!

Ah, Spain. With you literally anything is plausible.
 
I don't know what it is about RTW, it's just so dry and looks so Visual Basic, but as soon as a penguin gets involved even random errors start being interesting to me. It starts to stink like corruption in here... which just adds even more to the historical verisimilitude!

Ah, Spain. With you literally anything is plausible.
I dunno, does this admiral look easily corrupted to you?

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005.1 Spain - March, April, May 1901
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Why are you guys so much smarter this time around?

You research things faster and actually give me actionable intelligence.

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... and just as I say that, you do this.

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But that's fiiiiine!
It's way too soon for us to think of making a Pseudodreadnought anyway.

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And just like that, several more months passed and we come to a happier situation.

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Welcome to the Fleet, Armored Cruiser LECHON, name ship of the Lechon-class!

>> CL LADRON CA LECHON> I won't be useless this time!


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Pft.

Actually, now that we seem to have the confidence to pick a fight with Italy instead of a third-rate power like Austria-Hungary, we should actually take a look at what we're up against.


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Ugh, that's bad. For us.
Well it is only just as protected as Adobo-class though.

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But I know they only have this one Battleship.

So if there must be war, better it arrive quicker before they can build more.

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(more unexpected delays)

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I better get something out of this.

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Now that our cash flow is positive again, let's lay down a third ship of the Adobo-class.
 
005.1 Spain -June 1901
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Why don't you build a Barquillo Pocket Battleship instead?
They are cheaper, I remember.

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Because
a) they're slow at 19 knots and
b) everybody's 12-inchers are at Quality -1 and we would never get around to sending them back into the yards for a main gun Rebuild since that's 800k over 8 months that could go into the constant build of more modern battleships instead.

Our eight-inchers are at Quality 0 so any increase in shell performance won't have our Cruisers lag behind. They will always be useful for anti-Cruiser work.


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Excellent, welcome to the fleet, Mookship Number Two.

>> MS DINORADO 2> Hah. You say that, but Coastal Patrol doesn't trigger enemy attacks.
>> MS DINORADO 2> Only Light Cruisers and Destroyers are ever pulled into action.

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That... may be true, I suppose.

>> MS DINORADO 2> I AM INVINCIBLE!


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I need monies.
Transform your fear.


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Great. Now if we just have Submarines or Destroyers to use them.

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(sluuuurp)
  • Lyddite - British picric acid, trinitrophenol. Prior to 1908, the British used gunpowder as the burster for both AP and Common shells, but after that date Lyddite came into use for HE projectiles. In 1909, the Royal Navy began experimenting with APC using Lyddite as the burster and began introducing them into service the following year, even though testing had shown that this filling was more sensitive to shock than gunpowder and thus prone to explode prematurely before the shell had a chance to penetrate almost any thickness of armor plate.
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Steal the Americans' "Explosive D" or Ammonium Picrate instead.

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Hm. Well we can afford an extra month's delay.
This level of red is sustainable and soon enough we'll be in the black again.

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Italy tensions are getting a bit dangerously high though.
 
With Explosive D, you'll have to wait until the 19-teens before you are able to steal it if I remember right. You're better off mooching off of Germany's chemical complex, as they will get some pretty impressive propellants and charges (it should be noted that the Kriegsmarine had some pretty insensitive propellants that -at worst- simply threw turrets off their rails instead of turning the ship into a fireball, these same propellants have been used in one way or another by the US and NATO for decades).
 
006.1 Spain -July, August 1902
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Dammit to heck.
Why do I even trust you guys with building my Battleships?

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Italian Cruisers are expected to have five inches of belt armor so this is not a problem for now.

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After building Destructor, let's lay down another one...
Hmm. I see.

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The reason why our balance sheet is better is that the costs for Enhanced Training dropped for some reason.
That doesn't make me happy if we end up with turgid seamen, you know!

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Gak!
I would be fine if it was just capital ship clash, but I don't think we have enough small hulls to fulfill Coastal Patrol duties.

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Let's see it!

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Thanks, I hate it.

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The Italians had such cheek to issue an ultimatum over such mediocre tension levels.
One day they shall come to regret this.
 
007.1 Spain -September, October 1902
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I am not an Admiral that does not know that the strength of their navy is proportional only to the strength of their nation.

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Go! Go Power Ramme...

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I made this joke before.

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Ah heck with it.
GO! GO! POWER RAMMMERS TURBO GO!


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Being a disgusting showoff peacock on the international stage?
When would a good Spanish lad ever say no to that?

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Crap we're out of money.
WHAT KIND OF GRAFT ARE YOU DOING THAT'S WORTH HALF A MILLION!

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Don't worry about it.
I'm not reducing your budget, at least.

You at least have been consistently useful.

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*PHHHFFFT!*
Wait, what?
WE STOLE THIS TECH FROM THE US NAVY?!

Show me the tension bars!

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Oh good seems like they didn't notice.
Although now we are truly, officially, out of money.

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Boys, we're going to have to pull a heist.
 
008.1 Spain -November 1902 - February 1903
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What have you done?

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Be productive, that's what!

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SUPER PRODUCTIVE.

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Impressive.


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We are going too fast to stop now.
Roll over to the New Year with the promise of inevitable violence!

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Why is this unexpected?
Did someone happen to rock percussive maintenance?

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Crap. The Brits have 14-inch guns now.
That's going to penetrate damn near everything.

We might have to contract them for our Battleships.

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Of course!
My hookers and blow budget knows no limit!
 
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008.2 Spain - November 1902 -> February 1903
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Now among the three monkeys that run our submarine, one of them is now actually capable of doing their job.

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This flood of competence, I can't take it!
You're all such beautiful people!

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Though now our budget's at a dangerous level again.
But don't worry - as long as you keep producing I'll find ways to keep you satiated.
 
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