A Penguin Plays RULE THE WAVES

[bluepencil]

It would be enough going against another BB, but you're going two BBs against one BB and three Bs.
The B ROMA class pack 12 inchers.

They are an equal threat to the BB LEONARDO DA VINCI class!

BB BARBARA> To be clear: it's only 2 ROMA, one of those other Bs is a VITTORIO EMANUELE.

That doesn't make things any better!

They are all packing 12-inch guns!

>> BB BARACO> Throwing in the towel so soon, Admiral?
>> BB BARACO> We were MADE for this fight.

Let's see..

Six 12" on the B LEONARDO DA VINCI, plus
Eight 12" on the 2 B ROMA, plus
Four 12" on the VITTORIO EMANUELE

That's eighteen 12-inch guns versus your twelve 12-inch.

>> BB BARBARA> Plus the pair of 10-inch heavy guns on the CA VETTOR PISANI and the five on each broadside of the B VITTORIO.

Don't sound so happy about it!

That's a lot of gunfire exchanged over only fifteen minutes.

Why isn't this CA dead yet?

>> BB BARACO> Turret back in action!
>> BB BARACO> ... Turret got hit again. Top armor, glanced off.

>> BB BARACO> (Engine room hit)
>> BB BARBARA> (Engine room hit)

>> BB BARACO> DOUBLE
>> BB BARBARA> FUCK

>> BB BARBARA> Ouch!
>> BB BARBARA> Heck!
>> BB BARBARA> (faceplants onto the waves)

>> BB BARBARA> I'm flooding?
>> BB BARBARA> I'm flooding!

 

[bluepencil]

AN:
Sorry for the lack of updates. Ran out of cellular data load.

>> BB BARACO> BARBARA, move!
>> BB BARACO> I'll cover you!

>> BB BARBARA> ** limits flooding **

>> BB BARBARA> Hurk.
>> BB BARBARA> Again with the gut shots.

>> BB BARBARA> ** detached from battle division due to heavy flooding **

>> BB BARACO> Get behind me!

>> BB BARACO> Shouldn't it be the more coal we use, the less weight we have and the faster we should get?
>> BB BARACO> Odd what thoughts come up when you're fighting for your life.

>> BB BARACO> At least that thing is on fire.

>> BB BARACO> (takes aim at BB LEONARDO DA VINCI)

>>BB BARACO> HEY, LOOK AT ME! YOU BALD NINJA TURTLE!
>>BB BARACO> FIGHT ME!

BB BARACO is now obscuring BB BARBARA with her own hull.
I should get BB BARBARA to slow down, but to slow down also means death.

Where are we anyway?
Ah. I thought we were north of Sicily.

Seen from this long view, that really is a close range slugfest where armor thickness doesn't matter.
BB BARBARA is starting to put a little distance from the center of the battle.

>> BB BARBARA> BARACO! Come on!

>> BB BARACO> Just a little more...!
>> BB BARACO> Then you can slow down a little.
>> BB BARACO> Then I'm going to retreat to keep covering you.

>> BB BARACO> ** Critical hit! Electric power disabled! **
>> BB BARACO> Ah! My eyes!
>> BB BARACO> My legs...
>> BB BARACO> I can't feel my legs.

 

[Rufus Shinra]

This... might be an issue. Losing a BB is gonna be quite the hit for prestige and everything.

 

[bluepencil]

BARACO!

>> BB BARBARELLA> BARACO!

>> BB BARACO> I'm fine.

>> BB BARACO> Can... barely see a thing.
>> BB BARACO> Can't... move.
>> BB BARACO> But can fire guns....

>> BB BARACO> I AM COMBAT READY!

You are NOT fine!

>> BB BARBARA> Hang on! I'm coming in to help!

>> BB BARACO> DON'T YOU DARE TURN AROUND!

>> BB BARACO> GO! LEAVE ME!

>> BB BARBARA> I CAN'T DO THAT!

>> BB BARACO> YOU DAMN WELL CAN!
>> BB BARACO> THERE'S NO POINT LOSING BOTH DREADNOUGHTS IN THE FLEET!

BB BARACO disabled one of the BB LEONARDO DA VINCI turrets but that just reduces the number of 12 inch heavy guns firing at her from eighteen to sixteen.

BB BARACO is now taking from from all enemy Battleships while BB BARBARA is being ignored.

>> BB BARBARA> SIS! I CAN'T... I CANT!

>> BB BARACO> YOU GO OR I WILL SHOOT YOU MYSELF!

>> BB BARACO> Hahahaha that's... what?
>> BB BARACO> 125 divided by two? Say sixty rounds for each gun?
>> BB BARACO> Plenty of shots! Plenty of shots!

>> BB BARACO> Thank you Admiral for always being so generous with the dakka!

I'm sorry, BARACO.

>> BB BARBARA> ** tearful sobbing noises **

>>BB BARACO> COME ON, YOU DAUGHTERS OF POX-RIDDEN WHORES!
>>BB BARACO> YOU WANT TO LIVE FOREVER!

>>BB BARACO> FIGHT ME!
>>BB BARACO> KILL ME!
>>BB BARACO> LIBERICA ME TO HELL!

>>BB BARACO> YOU-!
>>BB BARACO> You...

>>BB BARACO> Where are you going?

>>BB BARACO> What's happening...?

... !

That... that's not possible.

 

[Alias]

Is the Italy AI acting really stupid?

 

[bluepencil]

HOW COULD THIS HAVE HAPPENED?

>> BB BARACO> THIS IS INTOLERABLE!

THIS MAKES NO FSCKING SENSE!

>> BB BARACO> I KNOW, RIGHT?!

>> BB BARBARA> I'm sorry Admiral. Sis.
>> BB BARBARA> It's all my fault.

Huh?

>> BB BARACO> What are you talking about?

>> BB BARBARA> Weren't you, like, fighting over why we lost?

Whut.
No of course not.

>> BB BARACO> Yes, we are quite clear on why we lost.

We were too arrogant.

>> BB BARACO> We wasted too much time trying to take down that CA.

We overestimated the value of our armor.

>> BB BARACO> We felt we were invincible.

Hubris is to be punished.

>> BB BARACO> But it turns out our instinct were also partially correct-

So now all we care about -

>> BB BARACO> Is trying to understand this GREAT ITALIAN TALENT -

OF SNATCHING DEFEAT FROM THE JAWS OF VICTORY!

We lost this one, no question.

>> BB BARACO> The question is how in the heck did we even managed to survive without any ships being sunk.

As you can see from the track, contact was made around noon.

BB BARACO and BB BARBARA chased CA VETTOR PISANI north for a while until contact was established with the Italian battlegroup consisting of the Dreadnought BB LEONARDO DA VINCI and two Battleships of the B ROMA class and one Battleship of the B VITTORIO EMANUELE class and a Light Cruiser division consisting of a CL NINO BIXIO class and three DDs of the AQUILONE and NIMBO class.

Until 2:00 BB BARACO and BB BARBARA hammered the CA VETTOR PISANI while the Italian battleship division followed on an oblique angle North West.

And then what followed was a broadside exchange headed due West, with the CA VETTOR PISANI getting in the way between the two Battleship formations.

Meanwhile as you can see from the track, the CL and DD squadron disengaged and went to dock into port.

Trading broadsides, the twelve 12-inch guns of our Dreadnoughts against the 18 + 7 heavy guns of the Italian battlegroup left BB BARBARA flooding from breaches in the hull exacerbated by 20 knot high speeds.

The gun exchange took a turn for the worst when a hit knocked out all electrical power and left BB BARACO dead in the water.

The BB LEONARDO DA VINCI approached as if to deliver the killing blow, but focused fire from BB BARACO and BB BARBARA caused it to reconsider chasing BB BARBARA.

By 16:00, BB BARACO managed to get some movement possible, but at a painfully slow 9 knots that might as well be sitting still.

BB BARBARA was fleeing due west and was out of enemy gun range by 17:00.

BB BARBARA was hammered by heavy guns, alone against four battleships from 16:30 to 18:00, at which point for reasons the enemy decided to turn away.

They ran all the way back to port and docked to safety there.

BB BARACO and BB BARBARA were left alone in the ocean, and BB BARBARA turned back to see if there was anything to be done to help or rescue any survivors if BB BARACO sank.


But not only did BB BARACO NOT SINK, she was able to move away from the battle zone and back into Spain on her own power.


>> BB BARACO> I should have died.

Yeah you should have.

>> BB BARBARA> Admiral!

>> BB BARACO> No, no, that's fair.
>> BB BARACO> I don't get it.
>> BB BARACO> All it would have taken is a couple of torpedoes into my unmoving hulk and I'm done.

>> BB BARBARA> But they... didn't have...
>> BB BARBARA> (amazed) They didn't have torpedo-carrying CLs and DDs.
>> BB BARBARA> Their torpedo squadron fled the battle.

>> BB BARACO> But I know period battleships have submerged torpedo tubes.

>> BB BARBARA> We don't though.

>> BB BARACO> But do they know that?

I don't know about the state of Pasta intelligence, but that's... doubtful.


>> BB BARACO> As night falls, any gunnery could only be done in what is also torpedo range.
>> BB BARACO> At that point blank range, I could be sunk - but I might also get a lucky torpedo into their Dreadnought.
>> BB BARACO> It's hard to see torpedoes in the dark.
>> BB BARACO> BUT I DON'T HAVE UNDERWATER TORPEDO TUBES.
>> BB BARACO> IF THEY JUST HAD THE NERVE - !
>> BB BARACO> I COULD BE SUNK!

Pastas.

>> BB BARACO> Oh, truly, the old saying holds true-
>> BB BARACO> "Not afraid of godlike opponents, only afraid of pig-like teammates"
.

What even the hell is that.

>> BB BARACO> I have no idea.

 

[Rufus Shinra]

Well then, I would recommend trying to end this war on acceptable terms ASAP because your fleet is clearly not properly equipped to achieve a clear victory despite your handful of technically superior battleships compared to the numerically superior Italian fleet and their individually worse ships but numerous escorts.

Operation Diez-Vamos today almost ended up in absolute disaster, and likely will do if it's tried again. Finish the war and focus on building cruisers and destroyers to protect your battleship core, I guess.

 

[bluepencil]

Ugh who do even have in the Indian Ocean?

So CA LECHON is now on the way to South East Asia while CA FANTASTICA is on the way to West Africa.
LECHON is a heavier and more powerful ship, so she would be able to deter anything less than a CA trying to raid in the Pacific.

But I know what you're most concerned about:
What about our Battleships?!

As you can see, both of our Dreadnoughts - BB BARACO and BB BARBARA, are in the yards for two months.
For these two months we have NO Battleships.


Though if you look back at the previous After-Action Report:

We at least cause some Medium Damage to their BB LEONARDO DA VINCI, so we can expect their Dreadnought to be out of action for one to two months as well.

>> BB BARACO> You know... since that proves we can hurt their BB in a short while... this is good news for the next encounter.

>> BB BARBARA> We're not depressed. We're not afraid.

There's not much we can do except to bite the bullet and roll.

Let's roll.

 

[bluepencil]

Tolerate... tolerate...

Keep their battlefleet busy guarding against our Heavy Cruisers instead of making expeditions.

Just keep swimming
Gotta keep swimming...

What do you mean they have TWO BB?

 

[bluepencil]

Like what could we have done anyway?
That's not something we can verify right now.

All right. Next turn we might have BBs available again.

Crabapples.

Excellent!
Unlike surface hulls, there is no working-up period.

GO OUT THERE AND WORK!

Going to have to wait a couple of months before these can be of use, but fine.
We need them and are grateful.

I don't want to do this, but...




AN:
I am sorry to report that I am now running low on gasoline funding. Once again, any help at [email protected] would be appreciated. Thank you.

 

[bluepencil]

These arrogant pastas think they have the advantage over us!

FINE THEN! IF WAR IS WHAT THEY WANT, THEN WAR IS WHAT THEY WILL EAT!

We cannot rely on quantity, only quality. Fix this.

Maybe next time I should try a submarine heavy force.

Slim pickings.

Maybe I should abandon Foreign Service duty and send the Furiosa class back home.
What else could the Philippines and Cuba do?

Rebel?

Thank you.

Italy's aggressive actions in the Caribbean will be their downfall.

Do we have the ships for this?

2 BB vs 2 BB and 1 B.

LET'S GO!

 

[bluepencil]

So, anyone care to make predictions on the battle?

 

[Rufus Shinra]

So, anyone care to make predictions on the battle?

I guess it'll come down to how many escorts you have available. Or you're doing a bait and switch and the battle has already ended in a spectacular and unexpected manner.

 

[Iron Sight]

So, anyone care to make predictions on the battle?

Hmm, I guess this is where the Italian escorts either do not contribute meaningfully to the battle or they decide the battle. That escort advantage for the Italians is worrying.

 

[bluepencil]

It's BB BARACO and BB BARBARA.
And NO ONE ELSE.

What do we have here?

>> BB BARBARA> Looks like a pair of CLs or DDs.

Helpfully leading us to their battle group.

>> BB BARBARA> Well scouting groups are supposed to make their fleets come into contact instead of trying to avoid battle.

The CLs have joined the formation in a neat battle line.
How do I MAKE my own ships do that?

So orderly. I'm jealous.


>> BB BARACO> More ships means more complexity.
>> BB BARACO> Means more chances for errors!
>> BB BARACO> Us alone are enough!

Don't be an ADOBO.

>> BB BARACO> Ouch that hurts me.

>> BB BARACO> Beginning to give and receive long range fire.

>> BB BARBARA> Did they bring everything in their battlefleet?
>> BB BARBARA> There's even Armed Merchants here.

 

[bluepencil]

I don't think so.
I am pretty sure they have more DDs than that.

>> BB BARBARA> That other BB was a B VITTORIO EMANUELE and that CA was a B ROMA.

That put their 12-inch guns to fourteen versus your twelve.

>> BB BARACO> Counting the ten 10-inch guns of the VITTORIO, that's either nineteen or twenty-four depending on the facing.

Where are we anyway?

Doesn't matter.
You know what to do.

Let the battle cry ring.
Cry havoc, and sound the horns of war!

>> BB BARACO> YEET! YEET! YEET! YEET!
>> BB BARBARA> YEET! YEET! YEET! YEET!

Focus fire on that BB and IGNORE EVERYTHING ELSE.

 

[Iron Sight]

Moment of truth then. Will Baraco and Barbara inflict damage quickly enough on the Leonardo or if the sheer weight of fire from the rest of the Italian Fleet once again drive away Baraco or Barbara.

 

[bluepencil]

>> BB BARACO> Ohh yeah that's the stuff.

Is that a StarCraft reference?
Are you taking stimpacks?

>> BB BARACO> *pushes French Press straight into veins like a syringe**

How are we actually doing?

Hmm. Some structure damage, some flotation damage.
Overall minimal damage.

We seem to be doing fine.

Looks one the midships gun isn't seeing any action though.
Should we Cross the T so that all guns can be brought to bear?

>> BB BARBARA> That would make it harder to maneuver away from DDs though.
>> BB BARBARA> We have no Torpedo Protection systems at all.

>> BB BARACO> ** detached from formation because of heavy flooding **
>> BB BARACO> WHAT?

WHAT?!

>> BB BARACO> I didn't even notice!

HOW DO YOU NOT NOTICE *SINKING*?

>> BB BARACO> Well do you expect coffee not to spill in these conditions?

>> BB BARBARA> Should we disengage?

>> BB BARACO> How am I flooding with this little flotation damage?!

>> BB BARBARA> Wait, they're turning away first.

>> BB BARBARA> Ohh.

>> BB BARACO> WHERE ARE YOUUU?!
>> BB BARACO> FIGHT ME, COWARDS!

>> BB BARACO> ... caffeine high fading.
>> BB BARACO> ... feeling sleepy.
>> BB BARACO> This is boring, let's go home.

That was fast.

 

[Rufus Shinra]

Fast and, well, not unexpected. At this point, you clearly need more rifles to face the RM on an equal footing.

 

[bluepencil]

WHAT.

>> BB BARACO> WHAT.

>> BB BARBARA> What?

You girls got LIGHT DAMAGE?
And the Italian BB got HEAVY DAMAGE?

>> BB BARACO> IF WE JUST HAD A LITTLE MORE TIME WE COULD HAVE SUNK THE THING!
>> BB BARACO> NOOOOOO!!!

>> BB BARACO> ** starts pounding the floor **
>> BB BARACO> I am in despair! This short engagement time has LEFT ME IN DESPAIR!

Stop that.
We're on the second floor. You break that and we fall.

>> BB BARBARA> I would catch you!

If ADOBO catches me, she would punt me towards the goal on instinct.

>> BB BARACO> So that's why we couldn't find them!
>> BB BARACO> They doubled back on us, the scum!

That was a very short engagement though.
The last time, the Italian Navy didn't break off until 18:00.
Here they fled as soon as it was 16:00.

Of course, the fear of losing a Dreadnought ought to galvanize anybody in a hurry.

>> BB BARACO> That's 4 PM.
>> BB BARACO> It started at 2 PM.
>> BB BARACO> We should have tried harder to search.

>> BB BARBARA> We were looking in the wrong place anyway, so...

>> BB BARACO> Next time we'll definitely sink it, Admiral!

To yeet or not to yeet, that is the question.
Whether tis be nobler to engage in maneuvers and all-gun barrages
Or to sail in close waters and exchange punches to the jaw
This is not a question.

To yeet, always to yeet!

>> BB BARBARA> This is the way.

This is the way.

 

[Rufus Shinra]

WTF. You had heavy flooding and it was considered light damage?

Where did the flooding started, in the crew's bathroom? Or was a splash hitting the ship's cat reported at heavy flooding due to the hissing and the clawing?

 

[bluepencil]

WTF. You had heavy flooding and it was considered light damage?

Where did the flooding started, in the crew's bathroom? Or was a splash hitting the ship's cat reported at heavy flooding due to the hissing and the clawing?

The screenshot for that was not taken, since I mistakenly hit F12 instead of Print Screen, but BB BARACO had half flooding and 1 bar of flotation damage much like BB BARBARA.

Fore/aft hull hits seem to do this?

 

[bluepencil]

Okay, let us unpack this bit by bit.

1) BattleCruisers seem to be the wave of the future, we should consider if it's worth building them or focusing on traditional BBs with less guns.

2) Italy has laid down a BB of the Caio Dulio class.

Wait a clipping minute...

Those AMCs was also Caio Dulio-class!
Is this the reason why our preliminary intel identified the inbound battlefleet as having two BB?

>> BB BARBARA> So they have AMC of the Caio Dulio-class and BBs of the Caio Dulio-class.
>> BB BARBARA> That's... I don't know what to call it...

>> BB BARACO> Retarded?

Moving on-

3) Our submarines will only start work this month.
The completion report comes at the start of the month after all.

4) We have two more AMC, but the Patrol Fulfillment requirement is 14.
Once they finish working up, we will have ten.

Four more ships needed.

Wasn't it twelve to start with, then became thirteen, now it's fourteen?!

It's increasing over time!
Maybe it's worth sinking some DDs after all.

Anyhoos - BB BARACO was flooding but needs only to spend 1 month - this month - in the yard.
BB Barbara needs to stay longer to repair superstructure damage.

Are we sure it wasn't just menstruatio-

>> BB BARACO> SHUT UP.

Yeaah that's not a talk I want to have anyway.

Let's roll.

I'm taking a big gamble on you.

 

[Rufus Shinra]

As a Frog, I am quite concerned about the notion of the Italian-Spanish War being decided through the Army. Could you please clarify WHERE the trenches are being dug?

 

[Alias]

So how does the army work in Rule the Waves? Like a succesful army offensive gives you VP?