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A Penguin Plays RULE THE WAVES

85.2 AFTER ACTION REPORT - Coastal Raid on Eastern Spain
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Ugh. Unlike the Italians their DDs don't have the guts.

Odd to say that now.

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Italians have earned my respect.


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They didn't even bother to trawl the shoreline.
Just a perfunctory in and out.

>> CA ADOBE> Looks like the closest we came into contact was around 18:00.
>> CA ADOBE> But we didn't see anything.

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You were about to ram an island.

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>> CA ADONTBE> (softly) To be fair, there isn't a lighthouse on Illa des Penjat.
>> CA ADONTBE> We swept the shoreline with lights to see if there were any ambushers like before.

>> CA ADONTBE> (proudly) I successfully prevented ADOBO from bombarding the cliffs and fighting trees.

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I have a feeling she'd have lost that fight anyway.

>> CA ADOBO> If I beat THE ROCK I would be world superheavy fights champion!

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That's Gibraltar.
We hold Gibraltar.

>> CA ADOBO> Gotta practice on pebbles first?
 
All right. So. I said that I've finished Spain up to 1925. There are several more good wars up ahead with even more craziness afoot.

So now that I just have to slowly post things while repeatedly right-clicking "Copy Dropbox link" until my shitty cell internet registers it, I've been trying other nations in curiosity. What works for Spain more or less works for Italy too. They are practically brothers.

It completely does not work for Japan.

Spain, if you thought you had shit all for funding, hahaha you have not seen Japan's wallet.

I mean that literally, someone stole their wallet. Where were you at approximately 3PM yesterday?
 
Yeah, Japan is a bit easier and harder from my experience, easier in that it's alone in its home area and doesn't have a lot of colonies to manage, but harder due to the lack of budget and late westernization. It does really shine in RTW 2 due to its late-game power via research boost in naval aviation.
 
Yeah, Japan is a bit easier and harder from my experience, easier in that it's alone in its home area
There is Russia.

But Russia is kinda... Russia.
 
86.1 WAR! - Spain vs Italy and Austria-Hungary - August 1911
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Blast.
Well, it won't arrive in time for this war anyway.

It's fine.

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That we are blockaded AGAIN is not fine.

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Since apparently 5000 tons of AMC don't do anything to defer being blockaded, let's put them into Raiding duty and see if that causes them any more problems.



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Get it done.
 
Dang, this starts being a pretty long war by now. Any chance of getting a decisive battle? Also, do you have any colonies that could be lost if you lose the war?
 
We already had the decisive battle with Italy, they only have one BB left.

Austria-Hungary... well, we just have to wait for it to proc. So far it's been Armored Cruiser action.

I wonder if in a run there was zero Armored Cruisers and instead a fast pocket battleship, would events like escorts and raids still proc? Brb, testing.
 
We already had the decisive battle with Italy, they only have one BB left.

Austria-Hungary... well, we just have to wait for it to proc. So far it's been Armored Cruiser action.

I wonder if in a run there was zero Armored Cruisers and instead a fast pocket battleship, would events like escorts and raids still proc? Brb, testing.
There would, you would just have events where you cannot bring forces to battle even after accepting or where you actually have the battleship deployed.
 
86.2 WAR! - Spain vs Italy and Austria-Hungary - mid month events
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I don't quite remember, are you our first medium-range submarine?

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I don't know what to do with you either, we have enough on Coastal Patrol and Raiding isn't earning much VP.

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We could push Italy to the breaking point harder though.


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Add to my Dreadnought fund.

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Oh shite, I was wrong we do not have enough on Coastal Patrol.

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Since apparently 5000 tons of AMC don't do anything to defer being blockaded, let's put them into Raiding duty and see if that causes them any more problems.
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That just caused us more problems!


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You have been at war for a long time now.
The Spanish Army making such sweeping victories still means many sons of Spain fighting so far from home.

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Submarines suffucating mah shipping!

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I should have put all of them in the Mediterranean.
 
86.3 WAR! - Spain vs Italy and Austria-Hungary - mid month events
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These ships are all that remain of the Italian Navy but dang are they determined to cause some damage while they still can.

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Ah.
 
87.1 WAR! - Raid on Enemy Coastal Shipping around Sibenik
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>> CA ADOBO> Sink one ship?
>> CA ADOBO> Simple enough. A little boring even.

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There's two BC here somewhere and you are both 1899 ships with max speed of 21 knots.

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>> CA ADOBO> But Battle Cruisers have thin hulls anyway.

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I remember the BC ZRINYI and it has an eleven-inch belt.

>> CA ADOBO> Blargh.

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>> CA ADOBO> Fiiine. If you wanna be boring about it.
>> CA ADOBO> You know what would be nice? Scout floatplanes.

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No that would make it worse.
Information is power.

>> CA ADOBE> We can only rely on our training for scouting.

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>> CA ADOBE> I made cookies.

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>> CA ADOBO> Got em.

>> CA ADONTBE> That... seems to be a Trader silhouette.


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>> CA ADOBO> DIVE! DIVE! AWOOGA! AWOOGA!

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Stop jinxing things!
 
87.2 WAR! - Raid on Enemy Coastal Shipping around Sibenik
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>> CA ADOBO> GET OVER HERE.


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>> CA ADONTBE> Peace be with you.

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Oh look another one.


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Bueno.


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>> CA ADONTBE> Sleep, dear child, sleep.
>> CA ADONTBE> You don't have to be afraid of anything anymore.



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>> CA ADOBO> This one too.
>> CA ADOBO> GO DOWN!

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>> CA ADOBE> Well that's done.
>> CA ADOBE> What next?

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*CA ADOBO notices shell splashes.

>> CA ADOBO> Oy what's this?
>> CA ADOBO> Think we could get some more VP from taking out coastal installations?

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>> CA ADONTBE> Wait... too fast...

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>> CA ADONTBE> Ouchies.

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Why are they shooting at ADONTBE instead of ADOBO right in front of them?
Annoying ship is being annoying.

>> CA ADOBO> You guys just suck at aiming!

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Enough of this nonsense.
It's a waste of our ammo to batter down coastal defenses.

I've been told that, like fairies and coastal defense gunboats, they just magically pop out again in the morning after being destroyed.

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87.2 AFTER ACTION REPORT - Raid on Enemy Coastal Shipping around Sibenik
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Oh good. Their BCs were nowhere in the area.

It kind of does make sense if they're guarding against our BBs in the open seas.

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So here's the track.

1) CA ADOBO and CA ADONTBE snuck in deep into Austria-Hungarian waters entered the shoals at around 11:30.
2) Espied first Trader at 12:30.
3) Chased it north towards Spalato and saw another TR at around 13:30.
4) While CA ADOBO handled the north new contact, CA ADONTBE swung back south to finish off the stricken Trader.
5) At 14:00 CA ADOBO decided to pick a fight with shore gun batteries and wasted about an hour and half on futile exchanges of fire.
6) The Cruiser Division was ordered 15:30 to leave the area and was out of the Adriatic by 3 AM.

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That reminds me, until I choose to exit the battle window I can still check the condition of the ships.


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Ach, fore/aft hits really allow water into compartments.
Extended Belt armor being only good enough to repel splinter hits aren't much good against stupid six inch magic secondary guns.

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What were those shore guns anyway?


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An even more magically significant number?

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Please stop.


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Holy shit do not go back there.

>> CA ADONTBE> Those two coastal batteries were side by side, fast-firing medium guns and anti-battleship heavy guns.
>> CA ADONTBE> How very efficient.


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Ach this war is dragging on so much.
 
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88.1 WAR! - Spain vs Italy and Austria-Hungary - September 1911
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All right. Intel reports. What do we have on Austria-Hungary?

1) Austria-Hungary are laying down three light warships​
- Two MS which will be available in 8 months​
- One AMC which will be available in 4 months.​
For now, not relevant.​
2) We have a new submarine​
- We need that commerce disruption.​
3) AMC Delfin II has finished working up​
- More Raiding.​
4) USA has a new Destroyer​
- Ok.​
5) CSA ship intel​
- CL HUNTSVILLE's 2 1/2 inch of armor can't bounce six inch shells at all.​
- BC SUMTER at 23 knots and 8 1/2 inch is decent for a Battle Cruiser.​
6) Austria Hungary are not ahead of us in Light forces and torpedo warfare
- Odd, don't they have a national bonus for this?​
7) There are rumors of war weariness and protests and Italy
- This war could have been over by now if Austria-Hungary didn't LEEROY JENKINS their way into it!​
8) Raider reports​
- Other than the BB LEONARDO DA VINCI (and a bunch of DDs), these appear to be the only ships the Italian Navy have left.​
9) One of our ships is transiting the Indian Ocean​
- Who is this and why?​

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Ah, I see. A DORITO I was sending to do Coastal Patrol in Asia.

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ADONTBE is still damaged from her torpedo hit, and now I realize we have no capital ships in Northern Europe.

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Get more Raiders working to drive their economies deeper into the bucket.




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Yes just like that.

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Wait, didn't you report this last month?


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Ah shite she was in the Caribbean too!
How are you NOT fueled when our possessions are so central to the Caribbean?

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What did you do?

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Or rather, what did LECHON make you do?!


>> CA FANTASTICA> Ahahaha... magic?
>> CA FANTASTICA> And by magic I mean of course making things... disappear. And appear.

>> CA LECHON> The long arm of the law is surprisingly fast, who'da thunk?



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Cruiser battle.

As long as it's not a Battle Cruiser battle, we're fine.
They haven't finished building the LISSA just yet.
 
Glad to see an update for this. Also come on Italy! Leave the war already!
 
89.1 WAR! - Cruiser Battle off Cyracuse
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Oh hey, it's ADOBO and ADONTBE.
Torpedo damage healed ok?


>> CA ADONTBE> :: raises the hem of her skirt slightly ::

>> CA ADOBO > :: sneers ::
>> CA ADOBO> What do you think you're doing?
>> CA ADOBO> I got legs for days too, you can't show off while I'm here, third ship of my name class.
>> CA ADOBO> We're all wearing miniskirts anyway. Longer skirts aren't any good with the saltwater spray.

>> CA ADOBO> *is kicked in the face*

>> CA ADOBO> WHY.

>> CA ADONTBE> :: curtsies nobly ::
>> CA ADONTBE> All repaired back to spec, sir.

>> CA ADOBO> This is an abuse of power. I wanna be division leader!

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ADOBO you are forbidden to lead anyone into the anything.

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I miss ADOBE's slightly more tangible grasp on sanity.


>> CA ADOBE> You know, looking at this from over here, somehow I'm not so in hurry to be a part again of this bullshit roulade.


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Oho.


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It's an AMC.

We did proc Cruiser Battle, right?

>> CA ADONTBE> It's cute.


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AMC aren't fast enough to get away.

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>> CA ADONTBE> Good day, m'lord.

>> AMC BARON EICHHOFF-class> Eichh off!
 
89.2 WAR! - Cruiser Battle off Cyracuse
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This AMC is being surprisingly durable.

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2600 tons and six inchers.

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We are really hamstrung by being unable to build proper Corvettes.
Why is it that everybody else can build AMC - i.e., ships with larger than 1800 tons displacement and carrying six inch guns without being a Light Cruiser - but we cant unless there's a war on?



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>> CA ADOBO> Well it's done.
>> CA ADOBO> That was no fun.

>> CA ADONTBE> *glowing happily*


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>> CA ADONTBE> Oh, more friends?

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>> CA ADONTBE> It's a pair of Battleships.

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Turn around.

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>> CA ADOBO> NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

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Your eight inch guns are designed to bulli ships with six inches of armor or less.
It's a waste of time to go up against Battleship plate.


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Wait, are we fighting Italy or Austria-Hungary here?

>> CA ADONTBE> Austria-Hungary, sir.
>> CA ADONTBE> Italy has no Battleships left except the BB LEONARDO DA VINCI.


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89.3 AFTER ACTION REPORT - Cruiser Battle off Cyracuse
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Crap. It really was Austria-Hungary.
I made a mistake.

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>> CA ADOBO> NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
>> CA ADOBO> We could have taken 'em!

>> CA ADONBTE> I don't mean to be mean, but... they are not very good Battleships.
>> CA ADONBTE> Like, at all.

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I forgot.
I accidentally conflated them with Italian BattleShips, which do at least have 12-inchers.

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Sorry.

>> CA ADOBO> They don't have any.
>> CA ADOBO> We sank them all.


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Better than nothing, I suppose.
 
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