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A Penguin Plays RULE THE WAVES

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The LISSA goes 27 knots with eight 13-inch guns on an 11-inch belt.
She's going to try to vibrate herself apart at that speed, according to my recollection. That and being a crewman on that ship is going to be utter hell when she's at speed. The crew and passengers of the Mauretania would hate her going at speed (mind you this is like 22 knots) due to the vibration making them unable to sleep or even enjoy the trip.
 
> be me about 30 mins ago

> go one month without power

> bored out of my skull

> try to update some old fanfics

> this is fine

> with a generator and solar power during the day I can afford to do this for a while

> generator surges, blowing a power extension and everything connected to it, and busts my 3000W inverter along with it



> FUCK
 
Update:
Generator is still working.
Unfortunately the 3000W Pure Sine Wave inverter is a lost cause.
Fortunately I have a 500W Mod Sine Wave inverter as backup.
Unfortunately that 500W is peak power, at best it should be able to do 300W as generic china-brand stuff.
No idea how long this device will last.

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This feels like suddenly going from Excalibur to holding a fucking shiv while in the middle of combat.

Can still post.
 
96.1 - Spain - February 1913
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Give me the intel.
Give me all the intel.

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...

Here.

Many Spaniards were inebriated to give us this information.


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Our competitive advantage has been removed. Now it's 2 vs 2 Dreadnoughts.

If we're going to war it better be the Italians again.
The CAIO DULIO is dangerous but fragile.

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The BB LISSA...
Okay, so 10.5 inch belt is less than what I expected, but it's not much different and that 27-knot speed is literal murder.

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All the murder.
 
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96.2 - Spain - February 1913
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Gimme funding.

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Gimme ALL THE FUNDING.

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Okay. That will help in our next Dreadnought build.

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If the Austria-Hungarians have launched their Dreadnought, they ought to be flush with cash right now.
We can't let them have too much of a build advantage for the next ship.

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Okay. At least we don't need to worry about that then.


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They may have more guns than us, but we will have MORE HITS.

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I'm making 800k a month now.
My Dreadnought fund is back!
Ohh sweet relief.

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Now if BB BARBACOA could just get her fat ass out of the yards.


>> BB BARBACOA DOBLE CARA> Rude.
 
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97.1 Spain - April 193
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Wait, what?
We totally just skipped over being able to put in FOUR centerline main turrets?

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YOU FOOLISH FOOLS.

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> Austria-Hungary increases naval spending.
> Austria-Hungary adds more ships

> We lose one of our Colonial Service gunboats.

> Italy has stolen ASW technology from us.

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God save us from our own politicians.




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Fine. If we don't have the budget to face a pair of Super-Dreadnoughts, let's consider upgrading our existing Dreadnoughts.
How are our 12-inch guns doing?


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We have eleven inches belt armor.
We are equally vulnerable to each other, no need for 13-inch guns just yet.

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The LISSA could be penetrated, the problem is that it's just so much faster than our ships.
 
97.2 Spain - April 1913
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Muh investments!

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...

Yes. Thank me.

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Holy shit!

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Wow.

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Secretary ship, make a note.
Schedule a time for all our scientists and engineers to invade Morocco and all its casinos.

>> CA LECHON> Arribamente, your penguinship!

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NOT YOU!


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> Italy increased spending
> Something delayed BB BARBACOA DOBLE CARA.

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You dreadnought so fat, she was displaying the slips even before touching the water.

>> BB BARBARA> Well ain't you just a queen doing your thing.
>> BB BARBACOA> Mmm hmm.

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All righty then.
Still doing nearly 800k c-bills a month.

Docksize supports 23 thousand tons.
I think we should design our new Fast Dreadnought at this point.
 
We totally just skipped over being able to put in FOUR centerline main turrets?
Someone in the design bureau failed to remember the Scripture, or more accurately Book of Armaments, chapter two, verses nine through twenty-one: "And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, 'O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats, and large chulapas. And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.'
 
98.1 Spain - May 1913
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Nope, 23 thousand tons aren't enough.

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Already there is no point in armor anymore.

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Oh, what luck!
Back to the Design Screen boys!

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After this important message from our sponsor:

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>> BB BARBARA> Well I'll say they were very well built and advanced.
>> BB BARBARA> *giggle*

>> BB BARACO> Is anybody pragnet?
>> BB BARACO> Pregargarant?
>> BB BARACO> Pregante?


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And?

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.... aaaand?

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Nothing? You just reported that you made unexpected advanced? What advances?


>> CA LECHON> Behold! My torpedo nunchucks!

>> CA FANTASTICA> Someone please tackle this fool. But carefully.

>> CA FURIOSA> WHU-PA!

*CA LECHON gets roundhouse-kicked to heck.



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Italy AGAIN is building up steam.
They're gearing up for Round Two and we need to do something about that.

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Three more months.
 
Two months without power. Already so desperate for gas monies has B-pen been that he's been hawking commissions on NSFW art on QQ.

Help.


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Libera Te Tutemet Ex Inferis!

>> CA LECHON> Don't worry about it, Admiral! I've got a sure thing going here.
>> CA LECHON> This Doge thing is related to Venice, right? Venice is like the only part of Italy that makes any money.

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I repeat: Libera Te Tutemet EX INFERIS!
 
99.1 Spain - June 1913
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Hmm. Twenty-six thousand tons are also barely sufficient.
No wonder everyone else has paper for armor.

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Fourteen-inch guns may actually be too powerful for this era.

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Britain is already going around with fifteen-inchers though.

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24 thousand tons would seem to make for a fast Battle Cruiser that is mainly meant to destroy Cruisers and punish thin-skinned battlewagons.
As much armor as possible to survive being in the battle line, because of course ADOBO would do that.

Other Battle Cruisers are to be punished for _existing_.

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That reminds me, ADOBO hasn't been around lately.
What has she been doing the six months I was blinkered?


>> CA ADONTBE> We... we ran out of money, so we were doing side jobs as MPs and anti-smuggling operators.

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But our smugglers _are_ CA LECHON and CA FANTASTICA.
Are we... double-dipping?

(from a distance)
>> CA ADOBO> RAM THEM UNTIL THEY GIVE UP!

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Is collateral damage the reason your paychecks are bottomed out?

>> CA ADONTBE> For ADOBO it is.
>> CA ADONTBE> I have many... pets... to take care of.


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I only have six million.
ADOBO is going to have to wait to incarnate in a new hull.

(from a distance)
>> CA ADOBO> YOU CAN'T HIDE FROM ME!
>> CA ADOBO> WHERE'S MY MONEY HONEY?!

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ANTI-smuggling, you say?

>> CA ADONTBE> Um. Okay, to be honest it pretty much is a protection racket.
 
TBH, for a cruiser-killer design like this, I would have gone for an universal 4'' battery instead: 6'' are quite too big and slow-firing for DD-swatting while going close enough to use them against cruisers or ships of the line expose you to too much return damage rather than staying mid-range and punishing them in the name of the Moon.
 
99.2 Spain - June 1913
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Excellent. Truly excellent.
What happened?

>> CA FANTASTICA> I AM AIDORU!

>> CA FURIOSA> I play base.

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...

Merchandising unlocked in the tech tree.


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Truly, this cannot backfire in any way.

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Good. Good.
The silent service is the sanest service.

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Another Battle Cruiser?!
Give me intel on that, stat!

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We don't have it.

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How much longer do I have to suffer?
 
100.1 Spain - June 1913
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This could be a good thing to screw over everyone else's super-dreadnoughts in building, but we're 2 months away from BB BARBACOA DOBLE CARA from leaving the yards.

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How about, shall we resume our JOLLY COOPERATION?

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> Tres bien Monsieur!
> Muy bien Señor!

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It's bien nice talking to ya!

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...

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One more month, and we're flush with cash.
 
So what exactly is the agreement signed with France?
 
So what exactly is the agreement signed with France?
Security agreement, if someone declares war to Spain within five years, France will side with the penguin, bringing some additional VP now and then, plus possibly extra ships during battles. It however lowers the Spanish naval budget as the government feels more secure and the agreement can be made void if tensions between France and Spain become too high or some intel op from Spain causes too much scandal in France.
 
101.1 Spain - August to October 1913
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>> CA LECHON> WELCOME THE NEW QUEEN!
>> CA LECHON> THE *QUEEN OF THE YARDS*!

>> BB BARBACOA 2 CARA> You say that like an insult, but I *own* that shite.

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Huh. Well you've certainly got a unique profile there.
Won't the enemy be aiming at the only part of the superstructure they can see?

>> BB BARBACOA 2 CARA> Joke's on them. My bridge is a decoy.

>> CA LECHON> So where do you put your brain?

>> BB BARBACOA 2 CARA> My glorious butt is everything that I'll ever need to get ahead in life!

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... you know, I can't even dispute that.
That aft is clearly a torpedo stern.

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What the hell have you done, my engineers.
What have you done.


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Hmm. Now that I have money, should I finalize the ADOBO II class?

From a distance>
>> CA ADOBO> I AM IMMORTAL~!
>> CA ADOBO> I HAVE IN ME THE BLOOD OF KINGS~!

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Can I just send ADOBO into the Dark Dimension?

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In the future, wars will be replaced with children's card games.


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Intel: Austra-Hungary is improving and refitting gunnery directors.

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Oh, right.
We should also upgrade our equipment for better accuracy, since we can't rely on number of guns - only the weight of them.


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What.
But.

We-
We run on coal.

We don't even have diesel engines.
 
Pretty sure the diesels are for running the subs on the surface and charging their batteries.
Later in the game, you have the option to use diesel on your ships, which can end up being kinda less expensive for the longest operational ranges, but it's really a seldom-used niche.
 
Pretty sure the diesels are for running the subs on the surface and charging their batteries.

I wiki'ed this up and it turns out diesel was used in subs starting from 1904 for surface power and recharging batteries. Diesel was eventually the choice rather than gasoline because of much less flammability.

Meanwhile, the French steam and electric Narval was commissioned in June 1900 and introduced the classic double-hull design, with a pressure hull inside the outer shell. These 200-ton ships had a range of over 100 miles (160 km) underwater. The French submarine Aigrette in 1904 further improved the concept by using a diesel rather than a gasoline engine for surface power. Large numbers of these submarines were built, with seventy-six completed before 1914.[14]
It bugs me that I don't remember if the Nautilus is capable of in-voyage recharging. Granted it was 1870 theory, but batteries are not enough for so long a dive.
 
101.2 Spain - August to October 1913
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These ships are inferior to our Heavy Cruisers, why am I still getting reports about them?

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Hmm.

Yeah, okay.

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My prestige is high enough, but... I don't feel like picking fights with my own government today.
The Navy being around the ear of the President is enough advantage, which is probably why choosing this selection nets prestige.

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Julienne Ecole intensifies!

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Do we get new fire control technology that needs refitting into ships?

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Even better!

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> Austria Hungary has rebuilt the Old Model Battleship B Kaiser.

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On that note, what would be the useful rationale for rebuilding such an old ship? It's, what? 9,500 tons?
Our Heavy Cruisers are 12,000 tons.


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9000 tons.

Well though would make for decent Cruiser killers if refit with better directors or more speed.
Nine inch guns are good enough for that.

Not against our CAs, of course, but everybody else is still going around with five inch belts for their Cruisers.

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Dang it, my budget!
We can't afford this!
That palace and that yacht was not worth it!

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I should have taken the opportunity to punch the Prime Minister in the face!
Is it too late to pull a coup?


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Stop.
 
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