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Chip 'n' Dale: Rescue Rangers

Lerticus

Senile Old Coot
☭ Communism ☭


I am not hating this. I like the Who Framed Roger Rabbit? vibes of the toon world, but with the various generational art styles.

Sure hope that wasn't the main bad guy though. Way too early to go there, what with the premise being at least somewhat of a mystery-solving whodunit.
 
Ten minutes in and I already got left-sided by the appearance of Ugly Sonic from the original Sonic trailer, who made a con career out of his 2-minutes of fame of being so freaky with his human teeth that they had to expensively redo his CGI for a game-accurate one.

That said, the sound mixing is bad, and it's painfully obvious the '2D' is lazy CG models. Which is weird because some background 2D characters look better then the actual main characters.
 
Ten minutes in and I already got left-sided by the appearance of Ugly Sonic from the original Sonic trailer, who made a con career out of his 2-minutes of fame of being so freaky with his human teeth that they had to expensively redo his CGI for a game-accurate one.

That said, the sound mixing is bad, and it's painfully obvious the '2D' is lazy CG models. Which is weird because some background 2D characters look better then the actual main characters.
Oooh... I might have to turn this movie into a review.
 
That said, the sound mixing is bad, and it's painfully obvious the '2D' is lazy CG models. Which is weird because some background 2D characters look better then the actual main characters.

I think that's....intentional, something about Dale getting, ehem, "CGI surgery in the early 2000s thing.

The voices though. Fuck no. Just....fuck no. Gimme their squeaky-ish voices not this lazy ass Mulaney and Samboig riffing podcast shit.
 
The voices though. Fuck no. Just....fuck no. Gimme their squeaky-ish voices not this lazy ass Mulaney and Samboig riffing podcast shit
I nominate changing to Peter Cullen in full Optimus Prime mode and... Seth Rogen.
 
I nominate changing to Peter Cullen in full Optimus Prime mode and... Seth Rogen.

No Seth Rogen. He's not funny aside from his stoner roles. Turns out Jonah Hill is the breakout star in the group of Rogen, Cera and Hill. Franco ruined his own career, odd as it it.
 
  • You only make one first impression. Traumatizing a room full of children and nearly killing the teacher is a first impression no one will forget. Bravo!
  • Oh. Immediate timeskip with narration. Expected, but still lame.
  • How do they avoid being stepped on? This is breaking my suspension of disbelief.
  • Fame tears the family apart. Like little furry Osbournes on an episode of Jerry Springer.
  • Another time skip. Boo.
  • Baloo! Singing bear! Best movie ever, 17/10! ❤️ 🐻 ❤️
  • shocked-sonic.jpg
  • Coercive Insurance. Somehow more transparent than other insurance companies.
  • Holy fuck, Chip is a downer. He makes old people like me feel downright chipper in comparison, and I yell at birds for being too fucking cheery!
  • Memoirs of a Cheese Addict.
  • More bear! Movie rating is 33/10! ❤️🐻❤️🐻❤️
  • Fast and Furious Babies, Mr Doubtfire (starring Meryl Streep), Batman vs. ET, I would watch them all.
  • Maybe it is just me, but this movie filled with cartoons and shit is giving me fewer chuckles than Schindler's List. I would be very bored and disappointed if not for the bears.
  • Dog blowing bubbles! :love:
  • Ack! Cats! Noooooo!
  • Good. At least there is a creepy Seth Rogan appearance. Suck it, dugong!
  • Now I'm confused. Toons never seem to age, hence why rodents and insects are able to live for decades. But Peter Pan looks like he was drawn in crayon and left under a hot lamp for a few decades. Stop being inconsistent, movie!
  • LEGO Misérables, yet another fictional movie I think I would rather watch... if it weren't for the premium bear content.
  • Sus cop is sus. Big fan can't name a favorite episode, show for some reason never aired in her home town, "Oh, yeah. That plan, from that episode that I totally saw, that is quite the plan."
  • Those chipmunks are a little too insistent that they will never eat whale. I suspect they run an illegal underground whale buffet franchise.
  • Oh no, chipmunks are about to be chopped up and redrawn in different art styles. Honestly, I'm cool with that. Some of those renders looked dope AF.
  • Why did they even say that the bootlegging process takes 48 hours? It takes a couple of minutes, tops.
  • And the years of two chipmunks being pathetic and alone was all due to a lack of communication. I wish I could care.
  • Why does Ugly Sonic's booth look exactly the same as in the previous convention. In fact, the convention center looks exactly the same too! This is just too goddamn lazy!
  • Paul Rudd cameo! He is so charming!
  • My Little Ponies! But in a place where friendship is strained due to relationship difficulties! That's bad magic!
  • He-Man and Skeletor bickering! These cameos are making this movie look a Disney version of Ready Player One! That's not a good thing!
  • OK, the extra Seth Rogan was funny. Now stop it. Please, I'm begging for the soulless cameos to end.
  • Sus cop was sus for no reason all all. Just a red herring. It was actually the stereotypical captain who was the bad guy.
  • Getting the team back together! Now if only I cared about Chip and the danger he is in!
  • OK, he's safe now. Whatever. I guess we are on to appealing to the bad guy with lessons learned throughout the movie stage.
  • Well, that's a real abomination. Uh... good work, Disney? You succeeded in making your bad guy a creepy monster.
  • Obligatory human acting scene. It was not a good scene. At all.
  • Chip's heart melts, and he learns to care about others again. Also, his mom in the flashback is strangely hot for a cartoon chipmunk. You don't get to judge me!
  • "The worse the joke, the longer the laugh!" Oh, I guess I am going to laugh for a few days after this movie is over then.
  • Rescue Rangers Reboot Scores Big at the Box Office (Critics Ask: Who Cares?) Perfect headline, except for the part about scoring big.
    thor-is-it-though-is-it-though.gif
Well, that movie originally showed promise and then pissed it all away!

Coming back together after years to solve a case? Nah, more like being forced into contact with each other and then barely having any ideas, nearly dying several times in the process. Not like you can care though. Plus all the references of things that you care about exist.

Wasn't exactly terrible, but also not good. Oh well, off to do something else and instantly forget this movie exists.
 
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