What's new
Frozen in Carbonite

Welcome to FiC! Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

Halo (Live Action 2022)

Still one of few films that actually did not played down effects of being hit with a DEW.
HALO it seems just needs bigger budget.
And a military consultant.
Otherwise we get what we get.
 
Mate, you want really good sci-fi? Go rewatch the Expanse. This stuff is just...painful.
Its basically just Starship Troopers if it was pure asshole (even debatable as to whether Starship Troopers itself is "good" or "bad", but having this whiff of body-odor-ridden self-aggrandizement around certainly helps beckon that arbitration in the direction of the former)
 
Starship Troopers at least is a satire, like Robocop. Halo is just 2 guys jerking off in fanfiction-y "yeah, respeck mah riting prowess, ohhyeahh!"
"Please, call me John. Mr. 117 is my father."

There are literally millions of people who can say the rank Master Chief Petty Officer without adding that weird break. It is another Cowboy Bebop (live version) where the studio was too cheap to do re-shoots.

"That was horrible! OK, next scene!"
 
It's like they just stood around smelling each other's farts instead of doing any actual work. "Eh, just throw something at the wall and see what sticks"

"Uh boss, this smells like shit"
 
It's like they just stood around smelling each other's farts instead of doing any actual work. "Eh, just throw something at the wall and see what sticks"

"Uh boss, this smells like shit"

Well, If you want to have real mil s-f, you would have to basically go Band of Brothers, where you follow a contingent on peace enforcement mission, that get's pulle out, resupplied end send to the fronts of the first battle of Harvest, for example, followed by the exodus from the outer rim colonies, wich is completely doable or quite literaly go the path of the least resistance and follow the story of UNSS Galatea, one of the last Halcyon class warships in service being prepared to function as museum ship, that is militarised once again ans send to the frontlines.
Problem is that any of these and similar ideas would went full military which seems to be not politically correct enough or becoming a called a rip off of some other successful media, mainly BSG. But seriosuly there is no other way. And for that you need a speciallist consultant on the plan and helping writing the script and creating whole content from the gound up.
It is trivially easy, but neither politically correct nor cheap.
 
It's like they just stood around smelling each other's farts instead of doing any actual work. "Eh, just throw something at the wall and see what sticks"

"Uh boss, this smells like shit"
Sounds like they come nowhere near the live-action FMV Wing Commander games when it comes to military scifi. But then, it's Halo, so being bland and sucking is the best way to respect the original material.
 
Well, If you want to have real mil s-f, you would have to basically go Band of Brothers, where you follow a contingent on peace enforcement mission, that get's pulle out, resupplied end send to the fronts of the first battle of Harvest, for example, followed by the exodus from the outer rim colonies, wich is completely doable or quite literaly go the path of the least resistance and follow the story of UNSS Galatea, one of the last Halcyon class warships in service being prepared to function as museum ship, that is militarised once again ans send to the frontlines.
Problem is that any of these and similar ideas would went full military which seems to be not politically correct enough or becoming a called a rip off of some other successful media, mainly BSG. But seriosuly there is no other way. And for that you need a speciallist consultant on the plan and helping writing the script and creating whole content from the gound up.
It is trivially easy, but neither politically correct nor cheap.
With all due respect, what?
Sounds like they come nowhere near the live-action FMV Wing Commander games when it comes to military scifi. But then, it's Halo, so being bland and sucking is the best way to respect the original material.
Or they could like not waste tens of millions of dollars on consumerist trash a black hole of what is effectively anti-art and laziness, although it is kind of funny from a dark/cynical viewpoint watching them deliberately shit on the entire Halo community lolololol
 
Or they could like not waste tens of millions of dollars on consumerist trash a black hole of what is effectively anti-art and laziness, although it is kind of funny from a dark/cynical viewpoint watching them deliberately shit on the entire Halo community lolololol
*sneers in Wing Commander fandom* At least our movie wasn't that good but had a decent aesthetic and an average plot. Plus our FMV had Mark Hammil and Malcom McDowell being light-years beyond the Halo characters.

:cool:
 
With all due respect, what?
[...]

What I have written exactly. Basically either take proven concepts and graft Halo on them or basically went full war scenario creation. It is trivially easy. Hard part is to find money and people willing to give it, becouse trying to make s-f version of Band of the Brothers or The Longest Day won't be cheap.
 
Last edited:
What I have written exactly. Basically either take proven concepts and graft Halo on them or basically went full war scenario creation. It is trivially easy. Hard part is to find money and people willing to give it, becouse trying to make s-f version of Band of the Brothers or The Longest Day won't be cheap.
Would still be better than wasting 100 fuck million dollars on whatever this is
 
Before going into the second episode, a thought I have been having:

MC's heartfelt "you can just shoot me in the head if you don't believe me" really loses all meaning when you remember that he has a body-covering energy shield.

Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more.

  • Baby John-117 was a real dick, but we are supposed to sympathize with him because he didn't murder his friend. Neat.
  • "Why didn't you kill me?" "Would you kill you?? "No." "Why not?" "I like livin- uh, because it's wrong." "Yeah, that's why, I guess." "Thanks! You are my friend now!" "I have made a terrible mistake. Can I have my rifle back, friend?"
  • Oh, I get it. They think they are making a Star Wars epic. Hence no guard rails on buildings. What could possibly go wrong.
  • Whew! Thank heaven that the admiral conveniently didn't ask why Silver Team pulled their weapons on those marines (under Halsey's orders).
  • "Can we trust MC?" "I can trust MC." "Is that because he thinks your his mommy?" "Ye- no, I have a backup plan." "Is your backup plan to stop a rogue soldier who disobeyed orders your secret project you have been developing while under express orders to stop the project?" "Y-" "I got promoted by ignoring inconvenient answers, I suggest you give convenient and insufficient explanations as to your plan... BYE!"
  • "CLOMP! CLOMP! mumumble mumble CLOMP! murm CLOMP! we'll be close." Sound editing is top-notch, I didn't have to listen to the terrible dialogue for a few seconds.
  • "Meh, we're in a dense asteroid field." "We're going to die! "*shrug* Everybody dies." MC might be a disobedient soldier, but he is learning some great parenting skills for dealing with bratty kids.
  • "Docking control is more of a suggestion really. If we don't open our eyes and see a UNSC shuttle docking we can then be surprised when a Spartan in full armor steps on board. We like surprises."
  • Child soldier grows up, doubles in size... still wears his old training armor that fits perfectly. Glad the writers thought things through on this series.
  • "Naw, the UNSC isn't trying to kill you, little dawg. The new UNSC puppet governor wants you dead. Totally different!"
  • "Welcome to Libertarian Island Space Tortuga, where no rules is good rules. See, this transport pod was built with no concern as to the occupants' safety! Pirate freedom, yo ho!"
  • "Show me what you saw, elite." *engages bad charade mode* "Oh, shit! A circle!"
  • Producers: "Having scenes with subtitles mean that project is good. Do some long-ass scenes in Klingon, or some shit like that. Audiences will inject that right into their veins."
  • "What news about our rogue Spartan?" "No news, but he will face some sort of punishment for his actions." "YOU ARE OUT OF LINE! Master Chief is a saint! A great hero! A symbol of all that is good! Fuck you, Captain, for even suggesting some sort of discipline!" Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you the rational leadership of the largest human pollical entity in the galaxy.
  • "huehuehue, I can use Cortana, the project that I have treasonously been continuing, using illegal technology, to overwrite the Spartan's mind. No one has ever heard of an AI going bad, have they?" Captain: "Whoa, I was suggesting discipline and got reamed, but wiping John's personality? That's sick!" Council: "No, this seems fine."
  • New Madrigal governor: "Hey diddle daddle *blam!*, Kwan did skedaddle *blam!*, and stole some hydrogen or some shit! *blam!* Fuck! That last line didn't rhyme properly, get me more people to shoot in the head! We're taking this from the top!"
  • Soren's wife lost her whole family to the Covenant years ago. UNSC has been fighting a war with the Covenant for years. But when the Covenant land on Madrigal everyone was all "durrrrrr, is that funny looking UNSC marines?"
  • The smiley face is a symbol of trust. Wear it with pride, John.
  • "I want the artifact to come to my department, where it belongs, and not to the other department where it does not belong." "Miranda, you little bitch! Stop manipulating meeeee!"
  • "This is where we keep our crazy people. I feed them churros. This one, he is the mastermind you need." *Reth proceeds to wipe his finger on MC's helmet and then licks his finger* Truly, the best that was or ever will be.
  • "Artifact leads to a doomsday weapon. Better get the map the the UNSC, who is always ethical and will never abuse this."
  • "Take Kwan." "And keep her safe?" "Whatever. She is annoying as fuck."
  • The super soldiers successfully track down MC... after he turns on his beacon. Perfect hunters.
  • "Why were you naughty, John?" "*pout* I don't know." "Why did you come back?" "You are the only one I can trust." "Good boy. huehuehue" *prepares her project that will erase MC's mind*
I can't even say this episode was bad, just really boring. The end of the second episode ends exactly where the first episode ends, but now Kwan is off on a asteroid base. Oh, and instead of getting shot by marines MC will be getting his mind wiped by his mommy. Dialogue was dumb, acting was passable, story was bonkers pure Halo.

Yawn. At least it stopped the nightmares of watching Moonfall for a little while. Maybe next week something interesting will happen (early reviews of the first three episodes came out before last week, nothing interesting will be happening).
 
 
still watching ep2.

Ugh!!!
I blame George Lucas for this silly asteroid field. I also blame Kerbal Space Program for making me care.
Asteroid fields do not look like an inside of a lava lamp!
 
still watching ep2.

Ugh!!!
I blame George Lucas for this silly asteroid field. I also blame Kerbal Space Program for making me care.
Asteroid fields do not look like an inside of a lava lamp!
Still we know where most of the budget went into.
Also of note look like the deserter made himself as an UNSC kacyk.
 
I have to say, ep3 got me intrigued, I am now actually looking forward to this show.
I don't care if calling this show "Halo" is only window dressing.

They are making a story I am excited to hear. They would have to do something idiotic to make me lose interest.
Like Master Chief giving birth to a flying snake or something.

Yes, looking at you Raised by Wolves
 
I have to say, ep3 got me intrigued, I am now actually looking forward to this show.
I don't care if calling this show "Halo" is only window dressing.

They are making a story I am excited to hear. They would have to do something idiotic to make me lose interest.
Like Master Chief giving birth to a flying snake or something.

Yes, looking at you Raised by Wolves

Yeah, that ending was . . . unexpected.

Still Halo could be better. Especially after we have had such masterpiece as BSG.
 
Still Halo could be better. Especially after we have had such masterpiece as BSG.
HaloCE for all the criticism it got directed at, did tell a compelling story with the limited tools a VG has. What they put in the first person shooter would earlier be achieved with copious amount of stifled exposition and infodump in a text format.
Comparing that to Half-Life that was created two years earlier. Where HL failed to convey the amount of storytelling Halo did with a scripted sequence and a cutscene Half-Life failed to do in the whole run time of the game.

Plus the game play of Half-Life is, and was back then, crap. HaloCE gameplay holds its own even 20 years later.
 
HaloCE for all the criticism it got directed at, did tell a compelling story with the limited tools a VG has. What they put in the first person shooter would earlier be achieved with copious amount of stifled exposition and infodump in a text format.
Comparing that to Half-Life that was created two years earlier. Where HL failed to convey the amount of storytelling Halo did with a scripted sequence and a cutscene Half-Life failed to do in the whole run time of the game.

Plus the game play of Half-Life is, and was back then, crap. HaloCE gameplay holds its own even 20 years later.

True.
One of the few games back then which combined vehicular and infantry combat simultanously.
Storywise pretty much standard as mil-sf goes, but back then it was a codifier.
I remember that after first halo there was rush by every developer for making a "Halo killer". Breed came up as the most literal, plus have had pretty much extended enviroment desctruction scripted in.
 
True.
One of the few games back then which combined vehicular and infantry combat simultanously.
Storywise pretty much standard as mil-sf goes, but back then it was a codifier.
I remember that after first halo there was rush by every developer for making a "Halo killer". Breed came up as the most literal, plus have had pretty much extended enviroment desctruction scripted in.
Before Halo the only first person shooter that came close to having engaging game play were the holly trinity of Build games Duke Nukem3D Shadow Warrior and Blood
 
  • On planet Recyclon, a boy tries to steal a kiss from a girl and gets murdered for the trouble
  • The girl gets saved by an Elite because he can see she will be special, how elitist of him
  • Girl grows up to be the human Quisling among the Covenant. We have achieved backstory, now feel sympathy for the traitor that wants the artifact that can destroy all life!
  • Little girl talks big about how she might cut off the head of a Spartan if she sees him. "Hold me back, bro!"
  • Admiral Lady decides to overturn the applecart by... allowing Miranda to study the artifact that is part of her departmental expertise. But Halsey still gets first dibs. But at least there is some backstabbing.
  • Discussing destroying John's mind with such whimsey. Such a little scamp!
  • "We don't need planet Recyclon, we have a clone recycler at home."
  • Just saw Cortana. Be back in an hour or two, after I stop screaming in horror after witnessing such an abomination.
  • Cortana pouts because she has not yet obliterated MC's personality. I guess some Halsey did make its way in.
  • Kwan is still alive. Fuck.
  • "Give me a ride and a bodyguard detail until I can establish a rebellion." "No." "Fine, I will accept a ship." "No." "I hate you, asshole!" Kwan has really grown as a character. Now she is a bitch with everyone, not just the UNSC.
  • "What are Cortana's abilities?" "She is sparkly and blue, and can appear in hologram form at will. Well, that's enough of the technical stuff."
  • Artifact creates the power of... incoherent flashbacks. Incredible.
  • Quisling comes up with a plan to land on Madrigal, No, it is not to take a ship to Madrigal like in the first episode. It is a plan that involves sitting on a Covenant ship, hoping the UNSC does not blow up the ship, pretending to be helpless so she can get on board the UNSC shuttle, successfully sneaking an army of Hunter worm colonies onto the rescuing UNSC shuttle, starting a firefight between Hunters and the UNSC and not get killed in the crossfire despite taking no measures to protect herself, killing off the CO with a plasma blade finger, and then pouting that she can't find the UNSC base where the artifact went because the ship's database has light security measures. Hey, kid, it's on Reach. You know, the capital world where everything important happens. Also, I think you forgot the part of going to Madrigal and instead just hijacked a random warship that was unlikely to have access to the information you wanted.
  • "We trust you, chief." "Hi! I'm Cortana!" "We kind of distrust you now, chief." Fair enough. I felt the same way when Microsoft tried to force Cortana onto my PC.
  • "I choose to not look into the distance. That is the past. I prefer to keep my focus on the household, under his eye."
  • No, Cortana! He doesn't want your help! You will just use Bing anyway, and we know how bad his search results will be then!
  • I too always use a public restroom on a large military base when I perform self-surgery in the nude. It feel liberating.
  • Washes the pellet off in the sink, but just puts on a towel to cover his wang. Hey, MC, I think you forgot about that whole hole in your body you just cut. You might want to put on a bandage or something? It could get infected.
  • Not sure what the other Spartan is thinking. Feeling the need to report John? Thinking of digging out her own pellet? Just lusting after MC's exposed ass? Such a mystery.
  • After leaving the pellet out in plain sight on a shelf, chief wanders a few steps in the military base that is now also just a random place that civilians hang out in, with a subway system that leads out into the wide world. He never encounters any sort of checkpoint to leave the base. Reach is weird.
  • "What if the second artifact is what we buried?" Uh, chief, they way little you was crying, your dad murdered your puppy and traumatized you forever by making you bury it.
  • Cortana:"There was a plague, so they quarantined the entire planet." John: "I'm going there." Halsey: "Oh, I'm coming too!" Me: *waving hands* "Plague! It's... it's a fucking plague world!"
  • "If I don't get paid for transporting you, I'll just get paid for turning you in for a reward." I'm staring to like Soren. Bad babysitter, but good side hustle. Besides, Kwan is worthless otherwise and eats his chicken, that's more like negative worth!
  • Quisling checks her latest attempts to hack the UNSC database on the ship (though it would be supremely stupid to just put all top secret information on every single ship). Ooops, she wiped the computers. New plan is to... go to Madrigal. The exact same fucking plan she had before.
  • "You saw the power of the smaller artifact." Uh, it glowed a bit, shit out some indecipherable holograms, and powered up a shuttle that one time. Not seeing how great an mighty this thing is, Halsey.
  • End stinger, "Cortana is a narc, and if things get mildly inconvenient for us she'll kill off MC." I mean, we already knew that, but Halsey really has to go all out in her villainy.
Pacing is still too slow. Kwan's story is just worthless padding. The show goes out of its way multiple times to say that they are going to do one thing, and then it follows a different direction altogether. This show just continues to be bad.
 
  • In the future "Left! Left! Left, right, left!" means run in a mob any way you like. Child soldiers never listen!
  • Little Johnny Mindwiped was a disobedient little shit. So much like his adopted mum. That's why he was her favorite.
  • "You will get us caught!" "I'm a pirate. I sneak around all the fucking time." "Whaa, whaaa! Pirate thinks he is so smaaaart!" Every time I think that the show might start to get mildly watchable, spoiled rich kid Kwan shows up. Could we get those guys to did The Phantom Edit to replace Kwan with Jar Jar? The gungan is far less annoying.
  • Bwa-ha-ha! The girl Spartan actually went, "If John cut out his implant while naked in a non-sterile public restroom, I should do the same!" Even better, another Spartan walks up behind her, conveniently does not notice the open wound in her back and ignores that she is washing blood off her combat knife in the sink. The writers must have asked the producers "how stupid do you want these people to be" and got the reply "Yes, all of it".
  • Remember when the early reviews, when everyone was comparing the masked quiet badass Spartan with the Mandalorian? We're at the point where Johnny takes off his helmet at every single opportunity and blabs about bullshit.
  • Does that spaceship have zero sensors? Did they not think to grab something with ground penetrating radar to find a buried treasure? They just wait for John to remember shit about being a kid (while constantly emoting "Oh, shit! What if the kid remembers something... bad?) and then he says to break out the shovels and start looking in the general vicinity.
  • Madrigal City, on the planet of Madrigal. How originally named people are in the future.
  • Kwan a few minutes ago: "Don't get seen!" Kwan right now: "Couldn't you just land right in the middle of town? I hate using my legs to walk!"
  • Kwan sees someone she used to know. She lowers her hood and starts yelling. Holo of her face, offering a bounty, is on the wall opposite. All I want is for Soren to get paid before she gets her stupid ass killed. His actor seems to be the only one who knows what kind of production he is in and is having fun with it.
  • They want to find a precious artifact. So, naturally, while John grunts at the hard work of... removing a couple of inches of dirt from off of a few square meters of land, the other scientist breaks out a fucking auger to punch holes in the ground to see if he hits anything important! Halsey's grand contribution is to... sit around and watch cat videos on her iPad.
  • The grand reveal for all the work digging is... some drawings little Johnny made. Halsey: "wE sHoUlD aNaLyZe ThE dRaWiNgS fOr ClUeS!"
  • 🎶 Take me home to Madrigal City/ where the people wear brown and funerals are shitty 🎶
  • Last episode: Kwan decides to go back home because people who oppose the new governor are being executed. This episode: Kwan is in shock to find out that the rebel generals she is counting on lead a resistance have been executed. Also shocked that security forces would crash the funeral of a rebel leader to round up rebels who are still at large. One cannot exaggerate how stupid Kwan is, she will always find a way to build more stupidity.
  • John wants to find his memories. Halsey wants to come along and help, but is scared he will find his memories. Achievement Unlocked: Saccharine But Ultimately Tragic Backstory. John leaves house. Cortana is still inside the house. Yes, the hologram that somehow is emitted from John (let's ignore that BS science for a minute) still exists as a hologram when John has left. What. The. Fuck.
  • After decades of fighting with the Covenant, someone realizes that Spartans, who speak dozens of languages, might have picked up a few words of the alien language. These geniuses sure are dumb.
  • Soren: "I'm the pirate. I steal shit, people don't steal my shit. That's just unnatural." Kwan: "If you take back your shit I will never pay you. I also will conveniently never mention how much money I am offering you, or tell you that it will be even as much as your ship I am forcing you to abandon."
  • "Why are you late?" "My sister was supposed top babysit for me." "You are obviously a very powerful person with many resources, go kill Kwan and her protector." "But Soren is a little bitch." "After viciously executing anyone who speaks out against me and ruling by terror, I now feel the need to clean my leger by not doing this one simple job." "M'kay!"
  • "Kwan, you should not have returned." Yes, this is how everyone feels. No, it is not because they think she is important, they just don't want her around. I feel these people's pain.
  • "We had fun, and when we failed a test we had to kill our pets. If we succeeded we still had to kill our pets. Doctor Halsey was a fun mom, you should understand that step-sis."
  • "huehuehue, you just have trauma, John. I was never here, creeping on you and studying you as a small child."
  • "How much to buy back my ship?" "You can't. Fucking Jawas stripped everything and sold it off across the galaxy." "At least I'm getting paid."
  • Kwan's family is now broke. Could have told you that was coming.
  • Auntie tells the chilling story of how Kwan's father was "changed", and build a resistance to fight the UNSC after joining a mystical cult in the desert. No, that doesn't explain anything. No, I didn't expect this series to tell us either, just give us slightly disturbing music and a vague retelling.
  • Assassin lady, who called out Soren as a bitch, takes out mook guards, kills auntie before she can say anything of use, and then gets run off when Soren wounds her. Because Soren ain't no simp!
  • Aw shit, they translated "sacred ring", then called it "halo". Namedrop! We have a series namedrop here! Major moment! Actually, the scene is a bit boring, but... namedrop!
  • Exposition time! Halsey is like a robot, that sees the world as data. When experiments do not work as she expects and conform to her twisted view of reality she throws a tantrum and destroys them. In other words, as we all knew, Halsey is a shitty scientist, but possibly a good clergywoman.
I now watch this show only so I can see Soren. Everyone is so serious for no real reason, while my boy just laughs it off like a Star Wars scoundrel in the wrong franchise. Kwan makes everything worse, every single time. John's main plot is so dull.

They also just decided that the Quisling was no longer of any importance and didn't show her again at all. She makes a big deal about going to Madrigal, we go with Kwan to Madrigal and spend a few days there, traitor still does not appear.
 
Back
Top Bottom