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My post-Isekai story idea

beast_regards

Well-known member
I suppose it would be for the best if we didn't?

We should let you to write something first and then try to build it from there.
 

Terra Novan

Well-known member
Author
I suppose it would be for the best if we didn't?

We should let you to write something first and then try to build it from there.
Well, I intend to write a short intro in @Mark Poe's style.

They call themselves the Battalion, or 3/87, such a simple name for the breakers of lords and makers of the realm. Their own history says they came from the land of Amerika, fighting through the mountainous badlands of Afganistan, before arriving on this land.
 

beast_regards

Well-known member
They call themselves the Battalion, or 3/87, such a simple name for the breakers of lords and makers of the realm. Their own history says they came from the land of Amerika, fighting through the mountainous badlands of Afganistan, before arriving on this land.
I am not certain of this, but perhaps don't use narration as a start of the story?

It's tricky, it is said you should catch reader interest in first three sentences.

Which you technically did, this is a premise of the setting after all.

But in the same time, it is often criticised when you start the story with narration.

Any ideas about a one specific scene you can start with?
 

Terra Novan

Well-known member
Author
They call themselves the Battalion, or 3/87, such a simple name for the breakers and makers of the realm. Their own history says they came from the land of Amerika, fighting through the mountainous badlands of Afganstan in the name of enduring freedom, before arriving on this land. When the Battalion arrived, this land was fragmented between the petty lords and free cities, with only the nominal authority of the Eagle King binding them together. Regardless of their intentions, the presence of the Battalion served to destabilize already fractured land, and as everything came to unravel around them, the Battalion determined that they must seize control of the chaos or swept away by it.

This act of self-preservation would cause great ripple. The details of this great revolution are too vast and complex to list here, but when the dust settled, the formerly divided land was no more, instead, the Republic, a unified realm founded by the Battalion rose. By simply trying to survive, the Battalion changed the geopolitics of this world forever, and many things alongside it. However, it should be noted that the Battalion, even with their terrible rifles and guns, would not have been able to accomplish what they did if they didn't have, and won, the support of the locals and their desires to change the dismal state of their land.

The Republic bloomed in the years between the great revolution and the present days. Although foreign trades were, and still are, stunted by the interdiction from the troubled monarchies of the world, the abolition of the myriad of internal tariffs served to encourage the movement of goods and people across the land. The industry, already growing before the arrival, was kickstarted into new haste by the Battalion's presence, both within the Republic and outside of it. It can be safely said that the Republic's citizens enjoy the greatest living standards and technological bounties among the world's population, although according to now seasoned and old Battalion, even this pales in comparison to what they enjoyed in Amerika before the arrival.


But in the same time, it is often criticised when you start the story with narration.
Really? I didn't know that.

Any ideas about a one specific scene you can start with?
Hmm, nothing yet. The focus of the story would be about the next generations, however, so it would be focused on them.
 

beast_regards

Well-known member
Hmm, nothing yet. The focus of the story would be about the next generations, however, so it would be focused on them.
I don't have better idea either, other than trying to start in the middle of battle and hook people up on what is going to happen next.

Alternatively, start with a moment that the present day people were transported to different world.
 

Terra Novan

Well-known member
Author
I don't have better idea either, other than trying to start in the middle of battle and hook people up on what is going to happen next.

Alternatively, start with a moment that the present day people were transported to different world.
I don't know if the former would work, since I have no battles planned yet, but perhaps the latter could work with now seasoned soldier of the Battalion reminiscing about how it came to the present day.
 

beast_regards

Well-known member
I don't know if the former would work, since I have no battles planned yet, but perhaps the latter could work with now seasoned soldier of the Battalion reminiscing about how it came to the present day.
Instead of reminiscing, just write about actual event how they were transported to a different world, as it is a present day, otherwise it would just be narration in a different form. Show, don't tell.

I think in this particular scenario I think this scene makes a perfect scene for a prelude or prologue
 

Terra Novan

Well-known member
Author
Instead of reminiscing, just write about actual event how they were transported to a different world, as it is a present day, otherwise it would just be narration in a different form. Show, don't tell.

I think in this particular scenario I think this scene makes a perfect scene for a prelude or prologue
Admittedly, I am reluctant because I am pretty sure I would make a mistake in depicting the US Army from 2002 faithfully.
 

beast_regards

Well-known member
Admittedly, I am reluctant because I am pretty sure I would make a mistake in depicting the US Army from 2002 faithfully.
I think that key point isn't to depicting them faithfully, but do so in positive light. Generally, that's what Hollywood really does.

Make them look well, and Americans will like it.

Of course, if you are still worried about faithful depiction, you can choose other nation military instead, if it helps. They can disappear during some exercise etc.
 

Terra Novan

Well-known member
Author
I think that key point isn't to depicting them faithfully, but do so in positive light. Generally, that's what Hollywood really does.

Make them look well, and Americans will like it.

Of course, if you are still worried about faithful depiction, you can choose other nation military instead, if it helps. They can disappear during some exercise etc.
Perhaps writing it in POV of the locals first encountering the Battalion could work instead? That way any mistakes could be glossed over as the lack of knowledge on the locals' part.
 

beast_regards

Well-known member
Perhaps writing it in POV of the locals first encountering the Battalion could work instead? That way any mistakes could be glossed over as the lack of knowledge on the locals' part.
What do you think will interest readers more? Our world's people encounter with a fantasy setting, or fantasy's world people encounter with ours?
Who would feel more relate-able? Our world's character, or fantasy's one?
Or course, you can answer it is "both". While you certainly have both in your story, you can't have both in first chapter.
Another thing is how to explain something from native perspective.
They don't have word for cars, rifles, etc.
And you often explain things how they would look compared to something from our world. Isn't it better to actually use our world person's view?
 
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Terra Novan

Well-known member
Author
Another thing is how to explain something from native perspective.
They don't have word for cars, rifles, etc.
And you often explain things how they would look compared to something from our world. Isn't it better to actually use our world person's view?
Yeah, I totally forgot about that. Maybe I should just ignore my feelings of inadequacy and just try to write.
 

Mark Poe

The majestic cock
Author
Actually, it might be. But I am more worried about my lack of knowledge rather than the quality of writing.
It's mostly in another world, as long as you don't fellatio/wank any particular nationality you're generally safe from the AH crowd. Also have you thought about posting it on QQ first? Jokes aside they're really forgiving (hell my shitty sci fi story got a lot of positive feedback even when it was obvious I was making shit up as I go).
 

Mark Poe

The majestic cock
Author
Last time I was there, I threw a hissy fit, made a really stupid decision, and never looked back, so I am kinda afraid to go back.

Also, I forgot the password.
Ah, that last part might have been an issue... although don't about the other parts. It's wasn't as if I haven't acted skeevy, went dark for the better part of 2 years, came back and pretend nothing had happened, and they reveal who I was on April fool's day.

Trust me, they're very forgiving.
 

Terra Novan

Well-known member
Author
Ah, that last part might have been an issue... although don't about the other parts. It's wasn't as if I haven't acted skeevy, went dark for the better part of 2 years, came back and pretend nothing had happened, and they reveal who I was on April fool's day.

Trust me, they're very forgiving.
*Shrug* If you say so.

Admittedly, I want to know more about the mentality of US soldiers back in 2002, but I guess I cannot wait.

I am probably going to make a prologue 4 parts, divided into just before the transportation, after the transportation, 10 years after, and 20 years after, from a view of a US Army private.
 

beast_regards

Well-known member
Admittedly, I want to know more about the mentality of US soldiers back in 2002, but I guess I cannot wait.
Well, they are Americans, what would you expect?

Either way, Americans don't care about realism as long as they are potrayed in positive light, this is how Hollywood handles things. I don't see a reason why it should work differently for you.
 

Terra Novan

Well-known member
Author
Well, they are Americans, what would you expect?
Rather miffed about the whole 9/11 thing?

Either way, Americans don't care about realism as long as they are potrayed in positive light, this is how Hollywood handles things. I don't see a reason why it should work differently for you.
Because I think the way they think would determine their course of actions on the strange new world. Admittedly, I already have some ideas and they are mostly unconnected to the American soldiers' mentality and more with the situation on the ground, but still.
 

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