This is a thread to discuss and give criticism about the opening lines in your story whether it's a novel, a web serial, or a quest.
Opening lines are like a hook. If the opening is bad, nobody will be interested to read your story. Thus, to make people continue reading it, you need to make a good hook.
That's why I create this thread. To help people to make a good opening.
Now that's out of the way, let's start with me. I have this story that I need to write.
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A war raged beneath the scorched and burning sky. The ravaged wasteland littered with smashed and burning wrecks of armored steel giants. But even now, the two armies still continued their war.
Two companies of battered titans faced each other, their vast strides shaking the landscape as each sought advantage, their weapons clashed with each other and ready to capitalize the first sign of weakness. These were Strike Gears; the latest faces of war.
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This one is actually a new version after I got the criticism on SV. The original lines were like this:
What do you guys think?
Opening lines are like a hook. If the opening is bad, nobody will be interested to read your story. Thus, to make people continue reading it, you need to make a good hook.
That's why I create this thread. To help people to make a good opening.
Now that's out of the way, let's start with me. I have this story that I need to write.
=====
A war raged beneath the scorched and burning sky. The ravaged wasteland littered with smashed and burning wrecks of armored steel giants. But even now, the two armies still continued their war.
Two companies of battered titans faced each other, their vast strides shaking the landscape as each sought advantage, their weapons clashed with each other and ready to capitalize the first sign of weakness. These were Strike Gears; the latest faces of war.
=====
This one is actually a new version after I got the criticism on SV. The original lines were like this:
From the orange sky of a wasteland, there was a war between two opposing armies. The roar of war could be heard far away as the sun bathed upon them. Both sides were equal in terms of power and size.
But something was off with this battle. Each of their footsteps shook the ground and emitted a loud thud. Each of their clashes blew away the winds hard. Normal people shouldn't be able to do that.
The answer lied in the fighters themselves. They were not all humans. Rather, they were massive steel giants. These giants were called Strike Gears or SG for short.
But something was off with this battle. Each of their footsteps shook the ground and emitted a loud thud. Each of their clashes blew away the winds hard. Normal people shouldn't be able to do that.
The answer lied in the fighters themselves. They were not all humans. Rather, they were massive steel giants. These giants were called Strike Gears or SG for short.
What do you guys think?
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