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You vs a Home Invasion!


Shameless Godzilla-Poster

Into the Warzone!

At your place of Residence tonight at 8:00PM, you will suddenly feel a chill in the air wherever you are standing, as you hear marching all around your home outside.

You can't explain how you know this, but you are about to experience a home invasion!

An army of 25 human attackers is walking around outside your house. They will break in within 12 minutes at 8:12. You must use this time to gather weapons, lock doors, and create makeshift barricades (Ex: Knocking furniture down stairs, putting chairs or sofas or doors in entrances and halls throughout the home.) If you have members of your family or friends in the house, they will vanish and reappear at the crack of dawn at 6:43 AM. All pets will remain and will act as they normally would.

The Attackers:

The 25 humans outside your house are wearing black ski masks, grey hoodies, and blue jeans. They will all attempt to break into the home with the intent to beat you into unconsciousness at 8:12.

For this purpose, each invader will wield a pillow.


This process will go as quickly as a pillow normally would to knock you unconscious. It will likely be aided by than one pillow being slamned into you at once. If an attacker is incapacitated lethally or nonlethally, they will exploded into a pile of feathers regardless of the method of termination used by you.

If they succeed in beating you into unconsciousness, you will survive but will have to live with whatever medical consequences come with being violently beaten into an unconscious state.

Victory Conditions:

You will have to defeat all attackers and/or survive to 6:43 AM. Should you survive, you will be given free Netflix access by ROB for the rest of your life, which will feature any series or film you desire even if was never put on/taken off of Netflix.

Pillow Terrorists: Successfully defeat you. After high fiving each other, they will disappear in a burst of feathers. Should this happen, you will not receive ROB's gift.


No matter what happens, everyone who vanished will reappear after 6:43 AM. You will likely have to explain what happened last night.

Happy Hunting!

-תסריט גאון

Rufus Shinra

Well-known member
I lower my windows sills and call the police to report a strange disturbance as people are trying to break their fists by punching a reinforced window. I live just outside Paris, the police station is literally five minutes away on foot and they like me. I watch from the window as the would-be rioters get a free evening or night in the police station.

If they somehow managed to break in the building itself, my congratulations to them. They now have to break through a massive steel door that would survive autocannon fire.

I go back to shitposting and being a CV cancer in World of Warships.

I also don't care about Netflix as we have literally thousands of DVDs and even more books.


Beach bum, Esq.
Well, if they don't mind the mosquitos and ticks in the bushes on one side of my house, a cowpen on another, being beaten by a bunch of Muay Thai practioners next to my house there's lots of rattan sticks, machete (both long and short), a big ass knife and an axe I use to help butcher, dress and joint cows every Eid al adha) to finish what's left of them.
Given that I live in a condo complex with security cameras, plus I have a personal security camera inside my home pointed at the front door, and the window isn't a viable point of entry because I'm on one of the upper floors of a high rise. . .

. . . this is going to be very brief and very noisy. Firing a gun in an enclosed space is NOT FUN, and for my neighbors' sake I have to be very careful with shot placement. But there's only one way in and I have a handgun with sufficient ammunition. Realistically, I'd call the police as soon as they start pounding on the door, and keep the dispatcher on the line as a witness.

And then I'm probably going to throw up and go see a psychologist ASAP, because justified or not, I've never needed to kill before, much less kill multiple attackers.


Active member
You can stuff a lot of things in a pillow. If this was 4 years ago, I wouldn't sweat this. Plenty of ammo and guns. Now though? I had to pawn and sell most of them. Also my house has three doors, loads of shitty old windows at the ground level and the upstairs windows are very convenient to access if you are a bit athletic. I currently only maintain a pistol and enough ammo to escape in an emergency against a limited number of intruders, for when I'm outside. Its not enough or meant to be enough to fight off this many.

Benefits? I live within city limits, in the middle actually, but the crime isn't that high. Its there but not that high. So find somewhere and try to hold the line, shouldn't have to wait that long.


Well-known member
Gold Supporter
If they're only armed with pillows, this would go very poorly for them. My place is a fucking mess. There is shit everywhere, like an episode of Hoarders. Anyone trying to enter would automatically have to negotiate a maze of cardboard boxes and bullshit, forcing them to move single-file. I would grab a bunch of this shit and stack it up on the stairs, making them difficult to climb. I have four loaded 20-round mags of 7.62x51mm and a Kel-Tec RFB ready to go. I have a CZ 75 and four loaded 18-round mags of 9mm ready to go, as well. I'd strap on both of those. And my Becker BK9, for if I run out of ammo. Then, I'd put in my earplugs and pretty much wait at the end of the damn hallway with the bullpup and pop each one as they ascended the stairs.

They have no special climbing abilities that would let them reach the third story without using the stairs, and they are compelled by the conditions set by the ROB to approach me in a zombie-like trance and attempt to enter melee range rather than hiding and lying in ambush, unlike real people who would flee once they realized they were being attacked.

This is a literal turkey shoot. That free fuckin' Netflix is mine. And I'd take the feathers and quilt a down comforter out of them, too, and chill under that bitch while watching Netflix. Waste not, want not. :ROFLMAO:

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